Blouter

Warning. What you are about to hear are the thoughts of four ordinary dudes with no agenda and absolutely no filter. Please do not attempt any of this at home and try not to get butt hurt. Welcome to the Dude to Dude podcast. Shut up. 

Amnon and Lyra

What I'm doing. 

Jimmy

Oh, I forgot, I totally forgot. I gotta pull up. 

Blouter

Ben's got Kramer face going on. I'll try to fix that. You're just gonna hold the smile for a minute? 

Dobblebobble

Yeah, man. 

Blouter

All right. You're good. Frozen on a smile. 

Jimmy

That'll work. 

Blouter

All right. Uh, so, continuing the Dungeons and Dragons adventure. Yeah. We have. Do we have a campaign title? Do we have a no name? 

Jimmy

No. I just a random group of adventurers that work for the Blue Jays. You have not decided a group name or anything. 

Blouter

Can I, uh can I put a group name? Wrote? Said okay group. 

Dobblebobble

Uh, the group will entertain the motion of a group name. 

Blouter

Uh, I would like to, uh, to forward Blooter and the Blooter rats as the group name. 

Dobblebobble

And the black rats is on the table. All opposed? Uh uh uh, for. 

Blouter

Are we are we all voting? Yay! 

Dobblebobble

No, that was nay. First we had two nays. Oh, what about the nays? 

Bjorn

What about the dungeoneers? 

Dobblebobble

Is on the table. 

Blouter

I'm gonna have to vote an A on the dungeoneers. 

Bjorn

The dungeoneers not the engineers. Come on now. 

Speaker F

What about. What do you mean? 

Blouter

Better than bloater in the bloater. That's. That's like Hootie and the Blowfish. 

Jimmy

No no no no no no no no. Okay, okay. It's not not the same thing. I don't see any of you being musical. Sparks. 

Blouter

Sparks. 

Bjorn

If if only Liam was awake, I would have busted out with the guitar. 

Blouter

Um. Um. 

Dobblebobble

Oh, I just blew up, Jimmy. 

Blouter

Yeah. I can't really think of any other names. Uh. Let me, uh, let me check my journal. 

Amnon and Lyra

We'll go. Your slayers. 

Blouter

Would you say, John? 

Amnon and Lyra

The orc slayers. 

Speaker G

Put. We slay other things. 

Amnon and Lyra

But mostly what's. 

Speaker G

Link. Lincoln. 

Bjorn

What about the architects? 

Blouter

What are we. 

Amnon and Lyra

Architecting? 

Bjorn

We're the architects of our enemy's demise. 

Dobblebobble

I'm not. I'm actually not against the architects. 

Blouter

I feel like. I feel like that's that's a group name that would easily be known that we gave ourselves. So I feel like the architects should be in like, an earned title, you know what I mean? 

Bjorn

And blood or the blood of rats is not a name that we gave ourselves. 

Blouter

Yeah, but but it doesn't have to be earned. You know what I mean? Like, that's a cool band name. 

Dobblebobble

Are you saying anybody can be a bloater? 

Blouter

No. You would be a blood rat. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh. 

Blouter

Yeah. I mean, that sounds. 

Bjorn

How about RDM incorporates something into the campaign where we can earn a group name. 

Jimmy

Well, I mean, if you ask the one town, you guys are the assholes. 

Blouter

Wait wait, wait. I'm sorry. The what? 

Jimmy

The farce holes. 

Blouter

What is a farce hole? 

Bjorn

A fucking asshole? 

Jimmy

Precisely. 

Blouter

Uh, what town is that? Why are we farce holes in a town? When did that happen? 

Bjorn

I mean, I punched out a dude. I threatened a kid. Um. 

Blouter

Whoa, whoa. Bladder wasn't around for all this. 

Jimmy

Well, I mean, you joined the farce holes was the rest of the group. One member is not going to change the name of the group. Usually. 

Dobblebobble

Louder and louder as you leave. We just upgraded louder. 

Jimmy

Now, which could be is the fast holes and Blauser. 

Amnon and Lyra

Love during the. 

Blouter

Louder in the fast holes. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

Spluttering the Parsons's on the table. All pro or all for. 

Blouter

Uh, yay. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yay. 

Dobblebobble

Opposed. The motion passes the fast. 

Blouter

Okay. 

Dobblebobble

Good night everybody. 

Amnon and Lyra

Good night. Good night. 

Blouter

Merry Christmas, happy Kwanzaa. 

Dobblebobble

Okay. So yeah. Where do we leave off now that we've got that established? 

Blouter

I, we I was really just trying to give Jimmy some time. 

Dobblebobble

Our time was procured for sure. 

Blouter

He's he's muted. I don't know why he's muted but he's muted. 

Jimmy

So again I'm interacting with my chat sir. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay fair. 

Jimmy

I'm learning I'm learning how to mute myself. 

Blouter

Yeah you're killing it bro. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. Today. 

Blouter

I think I recorded the last session. Yeah I did. 

Jimmy

Um, so blotter and the vassals, do you guys remember where you. Well? Yeah. Do you remember where you left off? Yeah, yeah. Do your journal entry. 

Blouter

All right. Our triumph over the orcs at Big Al's led to an unexpected challenge. While dining on the meat from the crustacean creatures, we had defeated all of us except Bjorn the stalwart dwarf succumbed to illness. It was a humbling experience, reminding us that danger comes in various forms, not all of which can be countered with sword and spell. Uh. The journey back to Vanderlin was further complicated by an ambush from opponent, uh, opportunistic bandits. I have chicken scratch handwriting if people don't know, uh. Despite over weakened state, we managed to defend them off. A testament to our growing resilience and unity as a party. These encounters on the road. Are. It's hard to breathe in this dust. These encounters on the road through the perilous only served to strengthen our bond in a moment of camaraderie. Uh, Bjorn the gifted Bjorn gifted me an unbreakable pipe, a small and meaningful gesture that underscored the unexpected friendship forged in our journey. As I write this, the pipe lies beside me, a reminder of the shared trials and kinship that continues to to define our path. 

Bjorn

Not not not to toot my own horn, but I like Bjorn the Gifted. I'm good with it. 

Blouter

Bjorn the gifted. I mean, you can roll with it. I don't hate it. 

Bjorn

Okay, considering all the other shit I've pulled, that's not bad. 

Jimmy

With that, um. I hit the wrong button. Lower level, did you? Okay. You're still level three. Okay. So upon completing your most recent quest, you're actually going to level Lydia. 

Speaker G

Okay. 

Jimmy

Um, the rest of the party is not. 

Bjorn

That's right. 

Jimmy

She's you know, she's still a level behind you guys, so. 

Blouter

Uh, wait, are we at level five? 

Jimmy

No, you guys are at level four. She's still at level three. Well, she should be at four now. 

Dobblebobble

Real quick. Do we on that on the long roster? Short rest. 

Jimmy

Probably a long rest, I would guess, because you guys got back to town, I believe. So. 

Blouter

Yeah, it should be a long rest. See, I'm in the tavern. 

Dobblebobble

Give me all my stuff. 

Amnon and Lyra

Let's go. 

Speaker G

Okay. 

Blouter

I do forget how to give myself a long rest though. Anyone remember how to do that? 

Jimmy

The little campfire icon at top. 

Blouter

Thanks. 

Jimmy

Um. Lydia, do you know how to level your character? 

Speaker G

You did it. 

Jimmy

Okay. You should probably get like another spell or two or something like that. And your HP increase and stat increases or fee if you want a fee. 

Amnon and Lyra

Well. 

Jimmy

Okay? Yeah. Mitchell, just give me. 

Speaker G

Um, some more spells. 

Jimmy

Yeah. You should be able to learn a couple more of those. You guys, um, obviously wake up in the guild, go ahead and have a little bit of RP if you want. While while Lydia is trying to pass level. 

Bjorn

I'm going to see my two favorite ladies. 

Amnon and Lyra

And on that trip back was really a glitter. 

Speaker H

Yes. We missed you on the last. 

Speaker G

God, that was fucking. 

Amnon and Lyra

We know that Satan joined the club. 

Speaker G

Jesus. 

Speaker H

I'm not Satan. I'm bloater. 

Speaker G

What the fuck? 

Amnon and Lyra

What? 

Speaker H

So, uh. Yeah. Amen. We missed you. You and Lyra were, uh, passed out. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. Oh my God. 

Bjorn

You are hereby known as blotter the swole bro. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh. 

Speaker H

It's just, uh, an effect from one of the spells that I did. Not sure what happened. Voice changed. My bad. I mean, I could show you what it used to sound like. 

Speaker I

It was more like this. And that had to go. 

Speaker H

Huh? Excuse me. 

Bjorn

And y'all gave me shit for my accent. 

Speaker H

There's no accent. 

Jimmy

Yeah. No. The deeper, the deeper ones are kind of hard to understand. Yeah. It's just because it all kind of. It just, uh, it just kind of like, bleeds together so it doesn't enunciate anything more. 

Speaker J

Gotta pronounce it deeper. 

Speaker H

So I have to enunciate better. 

Jimmy

Yes. You have to slow down. There you go. Slow down and enunciate with that one. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh. 

Speaker H

Damn. Walter be swole. 

Amnon and Lyra

Huh? 

Dobblebobble

So I'm gonna go to the bar and just look around, see who's down there. 

Jimmy

Going down to the bar. Um, you see one of the normal barkeeps. Nobody. Nobody special. Unless you're going to specifically titties and roulette. Um. 

Bjorn

That's where I went. 

Jimmy

Which is, uh, you see, uh, you know, wizard piss running around doing his his new managerial tasks. Um, in the background. 

Dobblebobble

Oh, I'm going to go up to Wizard because I gotta go collect my money. From my business. 

Jimmy

I mean, was it? This isn't going to have your money. 

Dobblebobble

He's running my business. 

Jimmy

No, no no, no, he helped you set it up. He's not running. 

Bjorn

It. That was your employee you hired? 

Amnon and Lyra

No, I hired him. 

Dobblebobble

He set me up. 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Bjorn

He set you up with an employee? 

Blouter

Yeah, yeah. He set you up with an employee. Jimmy. You did? 

Dobblebobble

I gotta go have my guy. 

Jimmy

Yes. You have to go, you know, manage your own books and stuff and in some downtimes. So just like. I would say carrier pigeon for like balancing your books. So like when you're on the road for like your downtime stuff, make sure you just you're saying, you know, you're checking in on your business. Um, and I'm not going to do a session on session basis, but we'll do like you'll get you'll get a monthly income from your shop, unless you're literally going to be going and taking profits every week, which is going to be like a gold piece. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Dobblebobble

Um, well, I'm going to go to the Teddy's area, and I'm going to go look for the guy who's winning the most money. 

Jimmy

Who's winning the most money? Okay. So you see, um. What do I want to make them? See? You see, um. 

Amnon and Lyra

One sack, one sack. Okay. 

Jimmy

John, thanks for liking the share. 

Blouter

Well. All right. He's back. 

Dobblebobble

I'm back, I'm back. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um, you see a. I don't know, an elf or a half elf. Um, just making piles and piles of money. Um. And if anything, it. Ta ta ta ta. Your eye. It looks a little suspicious. 

Dobblebobble

I'm gonna walk up to the dude. Um. 

Amnon and Lyra

Here you go. 

Bjorn

Sir. 

Amnon and Lyra

You look like you really hit it big. Uh. 

Jimmy

He's just focused on his game. He is. You see him, you know, batting and, like, winning pretty much every every roll of the wheel or spin of the wheel. 

Dobblebobble

Can I do a perception check on him and his wife? 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah. Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

I didn't see shit. I got a two. 

Bjorn

Happens to the best of us, bud. 

Jimmy

So. Yeah. Um, yeah. All you just, you just you see him casually, every every role, just just making some money back. Uh. Um. Is there something like. I mean, he's the. You can. I don't know. 

Amnon and Lyra

Sir. Sir, I just want one. 

Speaker G

Minute to talk to you about saving a bunch of money for free. It's my money, and I want it now. 

Jimmy

Uh. 

Speaker G

Who doesn't want to save money? 

Jimmy

It's kind of, uh, it's kind of loud in the club, so you might have to speak up. Mr.. Mr.. Hat that, like, is probably shorter than the table he's sitting at, so he probably like. 

Dobblebobble

Uh, can I use, um. To have him hear my voice right next to his ear? 

Jimmy

Yes, yes, you can. 

Dobblebobble

I do that? 

Jimmy

Okay. Um, what are you gonna say? 

Dobblebobble

What I just said, okay. 

Jimmy

She's going to be like, what the hell down here? And he looks. He looks down and he see he sees a, uh, a hat with the feet poking out the bottom, like, uh. Hi. Um. And he's gonna he's gonna place another bet. 

Speaker G

Man. Don't have a deal for you. What you're hitting right now, I can guarantee you you'll be hitting just as much. Well, let me tell you right now. So I got a store. Right. I've been told that I have doctor's handwriting, so I was thinking here we could maybe screw the empire and avoid some tax money. And I'll split the tax money. You say, with the 5050. 

Jimmy

What? What tax money? What are you. What are you talking about? 

Speaker G

Just taxing society, my nigga. Oh my God. And you see. Wow. When you don't pay your taxes, it becomes an issue. I can solve your issue for you. 

Jimmy

I don't have any issues with paying taxes. 

Amnon and Lyra

Benjamin. 

Blouter

Watch your language. 

Amnon and Lyra

Watch your language. 

Dobblebobble

Language. Watch. 

Jimmy

Ah. Thank you. Bill. Um. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh, I realized, uh. 

Blouter

I shouldn't even be part of your vocabulary, bro. But anyways. Continue. 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah, I, uh, I don't have any, uh, problems paying my taxes as he grabs another pile of money from the table and he's going to stop betting while he's talking to you now. Uh, he's going to give you his full attention. Like, why, why why would you assume I have problems with my taxes? 

Speaker G

Well, not quite a bit. What do you mean? You have a reason? Nobody bets just for no reason. When you're trying to make some money up or you're trying to cash and I get out of here. 

Jimmy

Well, I mean, I, I'm, I'm just I'm just here, you know, I'm on vacation, like, I, I like to check out new, new, you know, establishments. I heard about this one. 

Blouter

So at this point, I'm going to walk in. Uh, and I'm going to kind of peek at what's going on, just kind of chill in the corner. Uh, I'm not really interacting yet, but I'm there. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. So yeah. While while this conversation going on, anybody else want to do anything? 

Bjorn

Uh, I'm in the same room, right? 

Jimmy

I mean, yeah, if you guys wanted to go to. That's if that's where you wanted to go instead of, like, you. 

Bjorn

Know, I was in I was in the middle of that place. I said I was going to see my two favorite ladies. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. Rolling investigation, I guess. 

Bjorn

Mm 11. 

Jimmy

With an 11. Um, so there's there's going to be nobody, you remember that looks like the two women that previously took care of you. 

Amnon and Lyra

Damn. 

Bjorn

Well, in that case, I'm going to look around the room to see if I spot anybody else from the group. 

Jimmy

Okay. Yeah. You see, uh, double double bubble and, uh, table talking to the one guy you see Lauter in a corner. 

Bjorn

I walk up to to bloater. 

Blouter

You're going to walk up to the. The creepy guy in a robe in the corner of a strip bar. Yeah, boy. Okay. 

Amnon and Lyra

Your. 

Speaker H

Your my good sir. How are you? 

Bjorn

Bloody hell. Eddie, what is going on with your voice? 

Speaker H

I had a spell go bad. It's kind of stuck like this. 

Bjorn

Well, can't you do some abracadabra and kind of, like, fix it? 

Speaker I

It just turns it into this. And I'm not a fan. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Bjorn

Bloody hell. Yeah. Sort of like double dabble. 

Speaker H

I can do that one. Hold on. 

Dobblebobble

Please don't. Hey, guys. 

Speaker K

I love you. You're my favorite friend ever. 

Speaker H

Listen. 

Bjorn

Listen here. Pointy hat. I can find the big breasted dwarven girl, and she can tickle your balls. She'll make them drop again. 

Speaker H

I'm not into that. Not my thing. I don't like beards on my ladies. 

Bjorn

That's only a rumor. The beards are much south. 

Speaker H

All women have beards. 

Bjorn

No, I promise you, they don't. At least not on their face. 

Speaker H

Do. 

Bjorn

It's one of us. Is the dwarf. 

Blouter

Uh, dwarves? Dwarf ladies definitely have beards, bro. 

Bjorn

No no no. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Bjorn

Yeah they do. It's. It's only a. 

Speaker L

Rumor. Let's see. They they can. No no no. It's like it's like totally a thing. No. You should read Lord of the rings again or The Hobbit. 

Bjorn

They joke about it. They don't actually have. 

Speaker L

It's a thing. 

Dobblebobble

Rings of power, bro. The woman literally has a beard. 

Speaker M

Yeah, but that's just one story. 

Jimmy

That's like the story for fantasy, though. So to be. 

Bjorn

Fair, in J.R.R. Tolkien's Middle Earth mythology, female dwarves are not described as having beards. 

Blouter

Yes they are. What are you on? Tell me. It's Wikipedia. I throw my computer. Computer? 

Bjorn

It says in War of the jewels. Tolkien describes all doors as having. That's contradictory. 

Blouter

Yeah, because women have beards. 

Bjorn

Listen, it don't matter when it's all pink on the inside. It's 2023. 

Blouter

I'm just saying it wasn't my thing. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Speaker H

Anyways, onto the next subject. 

Jimmy

Uh, Amnon and Lyra. Now. You guys ready to? 

Amnon and Lyra

The lake. Go and investigate the quest for. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. So as you approach the quest board, you see the one previous quest that you guys did not take. Uh, which was to deliver the supplies and stuff. Um. And. Yeah. When when you, uh, get close enough, your, uh, the board repopulates because you're amulet around your neck. Um, and there are three other quests that you guys can partake in as well. Um. The titles are Aksum quest, Aksum Dragon Barrow or Woodland Manse. And then you got the loggers camp, which is the the supply run axe home is. A dwarven fortress that the townspeople might be able to retreat into in the case of a dragon attack, but it is currently being inhabited by some monsters. 

Blouter

As as they're looking at the quest board, I'm going to pop my head outside of the the titty bar real quick, though, and be like. 

Speaker L

Y'all are missing out on some fun. 

Blouter

And then pop back in. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Um, then you got Dragon Barrel, which is. A rumored to contain a dragon slayer sword. Um. Basically it's a, you know, mound of Earth where the last dragon was slain and the guys buried there that has the dragon slayer sword, supposedly. 

Amnon and Lyra

Whoa whoa, whoa. 

Blouter

Uh, someone has a dragon slayer sword. 

Amnon and Lyra

I want it. 

Jimmy

And then, um, the woodland manse, um, a local. Um, local leader of a hunting lodge. Falcon needs some help taking care of orcs in his woods. And, um, the spellcasters that are controlling them in the woodland manse that he knows are holed up in the woodland manse. 

Amnon and Lyra

I want the sword. Sword? 

Jimmy

But I'm going to go, uh, back to Ben. Double bubble. Um. So. Yeah. What do you. What? 

Amnon and Lyra

Well, I thought. 

Dobblebobble

We finished up that first. That last quest that, you know, we had to do first. 

Amnon and Lyra

Right? 

Jimmy

Okay. Well, then completely forgot he was talking to somebody in titties in roulette, and. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh. 

Dobblebobble

I thought you were asking what quests we were doing. 

Amnon and Lyra

No, no, no. 

Jimmy

I was I was explaining because they're at the quest board and stuff. What? I'm trying to rotate through you guys. So that way. 

Dobblebobble

Oh, no. I'm just going out to the class with them. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Dobblebobble

I'm ready to get the show moving here. 

Jimmy

All right. Uh. Bjorn and Blucher. 

Bjorn

I guess I followed the little guy. 

Jimmy

Okay. So now you guys all see the quests. And you can vote on what you want to do. So do you need me to tell you them again? 

Blouter

Well, we still have. We still have the lower level quest to correct. 

Dobblebobble

What I just said. Yes. 

Blouter

Yeah, I didn't hear that, but I'm sorry. Uh, and then we also have the Sword Slayer quest. And then what was the third one? 

Jimmy

There's you got you've got the quest. You gotta you gotta wrap up. Yep. And then you have the axe home, which is to go clear out the fortress that the town can retreat into when, if the dragon attacks again. Uh, Dragon Barrel, which is the Dragon Slayer sword, is buried in this mound dungeon place, you know. Um. And then the woodland manse. Is this guy, uh, the leader of the hunting lodge needs help clearing his woods. And the the woodland manse that the spellcasters are. 

Blouter

Gotcha. Uh, okay. And I have one more question before we pick a quest. Uh, did they complete the statue? Of, uh, double bubble Bjorn and I forget what your character's name was. 

Bjorn

Amen. 

Amnon and Lyra

No. 

Blouter

Now as Jimmy's character. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yogi. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Yogi. Um. I'm going to say. Yeah, probably at this point. Okay. 

Blouter

So at least Bjorn and Double Bobble are like, well known throughout the town then. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Bjorn and vassals. 

Blouter

Wait, is it a is it a statue of all the vassals? 

Jimmy

No. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Jimmy

No. Or just. 

Blouter

Dabble? Wabble Bjorn and your character. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. 

Blouter

Uh, well, I'm gonna vote. I didn't hear what you said, Ben. 

Speaker G

You were famous. They are just like the Hollywood Walk. 

Amnon and Lyra

That is. 

Speaker H

It's a nice statue. Gotta say. 

Bjorn

I don't know. There may be a whole lot more ugly. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. 

Speaker H

This guy. Anyways, uh, I'm gonna vote on the low level quests. Anyone. Amnon, I know you want the sword. 

Bjorn

Listen, as long as I get to smash something with a hammer or bury an axe in its head, we can do whatever the fuck we want to do. 

Speaker G

I said I'm down with the low one. So. What? 

Speaker M

Yeah. Sword. Sword. 

Speaker H

Split, 5050. All right, I'm on rock, paper, scissors. 

Bjorn

With that. With that, I toss a rock. 

Speaker H

Are the ones out ready? Rock paper scissors. Shoot! Cheater! 

Jimmy

Cheater, cheater, cheater. Pumpkin eater. 

Speaker H

I fucking hate you, bro. 

Amnon and Lyra

I can't see. 

Speaker M

It. Chickens always cheating. 

Amnon and Lyra

Clear it out. I can't. I can't see the screen. 

Bjorn

Yeah. It's like cut off at the bottom. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. That's it. 

Speaker H

Yeah I know. 

Amnon and Lyra

It's like it's. 

Speaker M

Because of the camera panel. Yeah. The menu has like the, the stuff that you all that some way is it. 

Speaker H

So. Yo, yo, you said something. 

Dobblebobble

Yeah, I like that better now. 

Amnon and Lyra

Much better. Mucho. 

Dobblebobble

Way better. 

Speaker H

Oh, you guys gotta do is say things. Hey, kitty kitty kitty kitty. 

Speaker N

Here. Kitty kitty kitty kitty. 

Bjorn

Well, that's not going to make him come back. 

Amnon and Lyra

It made. 

Blouter

Him stop. He froze real quick. 

Speaker M

No, he can't hear y'all. 

Blouter

Oh, well. Deaf kitty. Oh, you got headphones? 

Speaker M

Well, you guys are her ears. 

Blouter

So that was just extra loud for no reason. My bad. 

Jimmy

So? So which which quest do you guys want to do? 

Dobblebobble

Lower level. 

Jimmy

The lower level. Okay. Yeah. 

Amnon and Lyra

We'll get nice. 

Speaker M

Yeah. We haven't gotten supplies in a while. 

Jimmy

Okay. So. What page is that? 

Speaker G

That's 34. 

Jimmy

All right. Oh, man, you guys are gonna have fun. 

Amnon and Lyra

You're just. 

Dobblebobble

So immature. 

Jimmy

Okay, so. 

Speaker M

Uh, us. 

Jimmy

You guys. You're next. You guys have to deal with this. 

Speaker M

Ben saying we're immature. 

Jimmy

But. Uh, you have to take the supplies. Um. 

Blouter

Damn it! Damn it! Jimmy wasn't prepared. 

Jimmy

It was. I just don't know what to call him. Like he's whistle piss. His cousin would be called. What? Because we're changing names throughout this campaign, that's all. I'm just struggling for a name. 

Speaker M

Oh, Whistle shit. 

Blouter

You don't have a name generator set up? 

Jimmy

No. Well, no, because you guys end up changing the names on me anyways. So, like. All right. 

Amnon and Lyra

Give me two. 

Bjorn

Twinkle, twinkle dabble. 

Blouter

I am not going to remember. Twinkle dabble. 

Amnon and Lyra

Sprinkle edits. 

Jimmy

I mean, it's it's not overly overly. Uh. 

Amnon and Lyra

So let's go sprinkle tits. 

Bjorn

Wobble. Wobble. 

Jimmy

Twinkle toes. Twinkle toes. 

Blouter

There you go. I can remember twinkle toes. 

Jimmy

We'll call it twinkle Toes. Um. So. Yeah, it's whistle cousin. Um. 

Speaker G

Yeah. Guys, you gotta, you gotta take these supplies to. 

Speaker O

To my cousin. Cousin. Uh, twinkle toes over in the, uh, logging camp. 

Speaker H

Baba. Baba, is that your cousin two? 

Speaker G

No, I don't know that dude. That guy. I don't know. That guy. That guy's crazy. 

Speaker H

I just I know your cousins with Whistlepig's so much family. 

Speaker G

It's my mom's brothers, sisters, nieces, whatever. Uh, we don't they're weird, man. They're the wood with the wood. They're nuts. 

Speaker H

Would that be? Your sister? 

Speaker G

I hope not. 

Blouter

All right. Uh, so, yeah, we'll take stuff to twinkle Toes. 

Jimmy

Okay, so. So you have to go. Yep. So there's. There's a cart that you get, um, that they set you up with. It's got four crates of supplies, um, general stuff that you need for, you know, keep to keep men fed and stuff around a logging camp. Basic supplies like candles, new saw blades, that that type of thing. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Um. And it's an axe that is being drawn by. 

Dobblebobble

Just to recap, we lost our cart, right? 

Amnon and Lyra

No, all. We have to. 

Dobblebobble

Have the cart. Oh, we got the car. We just don't have anything pulling it. Besides, uh, Bjorn's war pig in my pony. 

Blouter

No, we got Big Al's horses. 

Dobblebobble

Or do we keep Big Al's horses? 

Blouter

He never took them back. 

Bjorn

Can I trade my pig for the ox? 

Jimmy

Oh. I mean. 

Dobblebobble

How to confuse the DM? 

Amnon and Lyra

No. 

Jimmy

Strong like ox. Not. Not strong like pig. 

Blouter

Maybe one of the funniest nose I've ever heard. 

Amnon and Lyra

Um, so were. 

Speaker O

You, uh, were you guys going to plan on stopping by Falcon's place on the way to the logging camp? 

Amnon and Lyra

Sure. 

Blouter

Wait. Where? 

Speaker O

Falcon's hunting lodge. 

Blouter

Oh, yeah. 

Amnon and Lyra

Totally. 

Jimmy

I don't have a drink. Um, yeah. So it's. Yeah, it's quite a trek into the woods. You gotta go into the woods to the river, basically is where the logging camp set up. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Uh, and Falcons hunting lodge is not really a halfway point, but it's not too far off of your guys's actual route. So it would be. 

Dobblebobble

The tracking board plus. 

Jimmy

Serviceable, huh? Yes. Technically, yes, that does. Co-mingle. 

Blouter

So it's two quests we're knocking off if we do that. 

Jimmy

Potentially. 

Amnon and Lyra

I'm with it. 

Blouter

Okay, let's take both quest with us. Can we do that? 

Bjorn

Let's take all of them. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh, I'm just concerned. 

Dobblebobble

We're buying up a lot more. 

Amnon and Lyra

To be. To be. We're going to. 

Jimmy

Be fair, Bill. You said I was unprepared. But if you look at my book, I actually have all the quest cards like, on the pages that they need. He knows what we're. 

Blouter

Supposed to be. 

Jimmy

So. Okay, like I, because, yeah, this is where it's kind of getting all melty, bendy together. So like. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh yeah, I. 

Blouter

Remember. 

Amnon and Lyra

So. 

Blouter

So can we take both quest cards? 

Jimmy

Yeah. I don't I don't see why not. All right. Uh, you can also, if you would like, hire additional help from the guild. Um, that's always an option. You guys can get hirelings. You guys can get, um. 

Amnon and Lyra

Let's do it. 

Speaker H

I'm, uh. I'm pretty broke. What? How much do they cost? 

Jimmy

It depends on what you. What you're looking for. Like. Honestly. Like. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. 

Jimmy

You want two fighters? I would say like, that's like ten gold a day if you want, like, actual skilled, decent level fighter fired fighters. 

Blouter

Do we have a, uh, an idea on how many days this journey is going to take? 

Jimmy

Uh, it should take, like, two days again. You know, like one long rest is on the road. 

Amnon and Lyra

All right. 

Blouter

So 40 bucks, that would cost us. 40 gold. I have 37. 

Bjorn

I'll throw. I'll throw 30 gold towards it. If somebody comes up the other ten. 

Blouter

I'll pitch five. 

Speaker M

Pitch two. 

Dobblebobble

So I'll persuade him to take just that. 

Amnon and Lyra

Here. I'll just. 

Bjorn

I'll cover the cost of the fighters. Since it was my idea. 

Blouter

Bjorn's about it. All right. 

Bjorn

I'll just do it. 

Speaker M

About that light. 

Bjorn

Do you want me to deduct it now? 

Blouter

Where did you get all this money? Dude. 

Bjorn

I didn't spend it. 

Blouter

Fair enough. I wanted to build a Wing Pro. I needed a billowing cloak. It needed to happen. 

Amnon and Lyra

He's like. 

Jimmy

We got a shit ton of gold. And like, I just, you know, I bought the shit I needed. I didn't just go like, hey, here's my goal. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah, I just. 

Bjorn

I took the free shit that he offered, which helped. I sold the shit that I didn't need since getting the free shit, I bought like four healing potions. Then I didn't need to buy anything else. That was it. 

Blouter

Fair enough. 

Amnon and Lyra

Almost. 

Dobblebobble

Did you like so what are my options in terms of fighters? 

Amnon and Lyra

And hiring. 

Jimmy

Well, I was going to say like, if you just wanted like a basic like Spearman or, you know, something like that, you know. 

Dobblebobble

No, I want, like, a really good archer. 

Jimmy

Or if you want to, you guys wanted to add, like, you know, like a healing type of character. 

Dobblebobble

No, no, no, no, I just. 

Jimmy

Or like. 

Dobblebobble

How much for a good archer? 

Jimmy

Bro, you have good archers in your party? 

Dobblebobble

No, I just how much for a good archer? 

Jimmy

I would, I would say, I would say, you know. A scaled 155 gold pieces per day, five gold. 

Dobblebobble

Pieces per day. For how many days did you charge, Maddie? 

Jimmy

Two. It'd be four days total. I mean, unless you separate in with them at. 

Bjorn

Wait. I thought it was only two days. 

Dobblebobble

They charged him for five days right now, so. Well, it's 25 gold. 

Jimmy

So you gotta take a long rest. So your long rest is either going to happen somewhere down the road or at the hunting lodge, basically. And then from there, it's still another like good chunk of the way a day to get to the the camp. You got to get to, okay. 

Bjorn

Like be paying for two days versus me paying for four days is a big jump. 

Amnon and Lyra

Correct. But you said I'm. 

Jimmy

Paying 20 gold pieces, and that's four days for one person. So sorry. Yeah. If you want two people, then. Before the old pieces. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Dobblebobble

For I'm. 

Amnon and Lyra

Putting. 

Bjorn

All right, hold on, hold up. 

Amnon and Lyra

Whoa. 

Jimmy

Too much math. 

Bjorn

So I'm paying 40 gold for two days, or I'm paying 40 gold for the entire stretch. That's what I'm trying to figure out. 

Jimmy

Well, yeah. I mean, it depends like. 

Bjorn

Just give me a yes or a no. Is it 40 gold for the whole stretch? 

Jimmy

If you want them to escort you all the way to the, the camp and back is the thing. Like if you just want them to get you to the camp and help you with the camp, it's going to be two days. Okay? If you want them to travel back with you. Once you get your spoils, that's four days. Was this two days of travel, basically. 

Blouter

That makes sense. 

Jimmy

That's. That's all. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay, well, while. 

Blouter

They contemplate that, how much would a healing spell caster cost me? 

Jimmy

Um. 

Blouter

Just out of curiosity. 

Jimmy

I mean, the guild can provide one for 20%. 

Amnon and Lyra

Of your earnings. 

Blouter

20% of the earnings. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Blouter

Um, no. 

Dobblebobble

Getting a little greedy. Boy. 

Amnon and Lyra

Did we ask. 

Bjorn

Let me ask everybody this. Do we want them for their and bag? Yes or no? 

Dobblebobble

I'm not part of this. I'm buying my own art. Yeah, dude. 

Blouter

Dude, just make a choice. 

Jimmy

Yeah. I don't know how much gold everybody has. I should really start keeping track of that, huh? 

Bjorn

I have 475 gold. 

Blouter

I got. 

Amnon and Lyra

3778. 

Jimmy

Maddie's just like, let me just hire an army, and I'm just going to go. 

Amnon and Lyra

Right. 

Speaker M

17 still. 

Bjorn

Castle would be cool. Colby and Bjorn, the kingmaker. 

Speaker M

Crustacean. I'm sorry. 

Amnon and Lyra

You know. 

Blouter

You never finished it out. Lydia, your character passed out. 

Jimmy

Oh, right. What happened? 

Blouter

She was wondering if she got paid from the last quest. 

Bjorn

I don't think any of us did. 

Blouter

Actually. Yeah, none of us did, come to think of it. 

Jimmy

What? What do you mean? 

Blouter

Yeah. The guild never paid us because we just, like, got back to town. Good call. Maddie. 

Bjorn

Nice try. Jim. Hold up. 

Amnon and Lyra

Good call. Because I'm broke. 

Jimmy

Hold up. 

Amnon and Lyra

Because I'm a money bitch. 

Speaker H

I feel empty pockets. 

Bjorn

I had a lot more gold. But between my bag of holding and Bill's gift, it's not. 

Speaker H

It's a nice gift. 

Jimmy

So the girl is going to be like, how do I. How do I know you guys took care of what you needed to take care of? What evidence do I have? 

Dobblebobble

I got this, and I'm gonna bust out the, uh, the the, uh, the butter skull I got from big gay al that he gave me. 

Speaker G

That's right. Here's one of a kind. You can't fake this. So clearly, we did it. 

Blouter

I'm just gonna have to say, if the guild can't figure out whether their quests are complete or not, that it's. It seems like a them problem. He does. 

Amnon and Lyra

He does. 

Blouter

I know you don't. I know you don't want to pay us, but it seems like a them problem. 

Jimmy

No it's fine. 

Bjorn

Uh, with double bubble supplying that I take off my necklace of of, uh, orc ears. So I cut off appendages. 

Jimmy

Okay, I was still just kidding. The guild was kidding. Here, here's 400 gold pieces. 

Bjorn

Don't fuck with us about our money. Yeah. 

Jimmy

I'm sure 360 gold pieces. 

Blouter

360. Oh, yeah. Because you're taking the percentage off the top. 

Jimmy

Yeah, yeah. 

Blouter

Um, okay, so how do we want to do this? Do we want to pay John and Lydia or Anna and Lyra? 

Amnon and Lyra

I don't need money. I have 878 gold. 

Jimmy

Jesus fucking Christ, Harry Potter over here. All right. 

Amnon and Lyra

John. 

Bjorn

John's paying for the fucking help. 

Amnon and Lyra

I don't need any help. The one funny. 

Blouter

Because you don't do anything. 

Jimmy

John. Be prepared to roll death rolls. Now, just because you said that, you know the dice are not going to be on your side. 

Bjorn

I'm going to accidentally throw an axe at John. 

Jimmy

John's going to be rolling once. Once. Once. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. 

Blouter

All right. 

Amnon and Lyra

Dead. Well. 

Blouter

I, I think that we should rob Amnon as a group and give some of his money to Lyra. Lyra was like, yeah, like that. 

Bjorn

I'm not a greedy fuck if everybody wants initiative. 

Jimmy

I don't know. 

Bjorn

If everybody's cool with paying them to. I'm cool with it. I don't care either way. 

Amnon and Lyra

No, I'm. 

Blouter

I'm not, I'm not. It's good. Lyra needs some help, though. All right. 

Speaker G

200 of your. 

Speaker M

Gold. 

Blouter

360. 

Dobblebobble

I want. I want this rolled out. 

Jimmy

So do you want that archer, though? Do you want it for two days or four days? 

Dobblebobble

No, I, I want to know how much money I'm getting off that quest. 

Blouter

90 each. 

Dobblebobble

Lyra, 90 each. 

Blouter

You and Bjorn. Nah. I'm not. 

Dobblebobble

Yeah. Um, I'll get that. Archer. Four days. So is he not helping us with the pesto like he's just escorting us? 

Jimmy

Yeah. He's just like a higher like he he's there. 

Blouter

He helps. 

Amnon and Lyra

He's he's. 

Speaker O

There. He helps. He just. 

Blouter

He doesn't have personality, he doesn't talk. He just shoots things. 

Jimmy

He's very, very good. 

Amnon and Lyra

I'll take him to the court. 

Jimmy

He pinned your hat to the floor. Just so impress you. 

Dobblebobble

I'll take the four days. So that's 20. 

Jimmy

Five a day. Yeah. 

Amnon and Lyra

Well. 

Dobblebobble

I'm going to look at him. You. You served me. 

Speaker G

For the group. My asking you. Got it. 

Jimmy

I, sir. 

Bjorn

So we all just got 90 gold. 

Blouter

Yes, except for Amnon. 

Bjorn

All right. I'm not hiring anybody. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Bjorn

I'm going to be greedy. 

Jimmy

Anybody and nobody else. 

Amnon and Lyra

Take the mask off. 

Dobblebobble

I'm a. 

Amnon and Lyra

Dragon. 

Blouter

Uh, yeah. I'm going to lay a fireball right into John's face. 

Jimmy

Uh, Billy, how close are you? Don't kill yourself. All right. So. Yeah. Do you guys want to bring your cart? Do you want to leave your cart? Nobody else is hiring anybody. Or is Lydia. Did you want to hire somebody? 

Blouter

Oh, man. I don't know if you can see it, but, uh, Sidney, Lauren and I can't see your last name. She said hi. 

Bjorn

Oh, dope. 

Blouter

We're going to throw that up there. 

Jimmy

Oh you can you you like it's it's like for less trained guys it'd be like a gold piece a day. Like they're getting like. So my hero status for that 20 gold for the four days. 

Speaker M

The people. My guy. 

Jimmy

Just. Just to help with, like, you know, killing stuff and. 

Amnon and Lyra

Cool cool, cool. 

Jimmy

Crowd control. You know. 

Speaker M

There's one guy for one piece of gold. 

Blouter

Man. We've got nowhere tonight. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yo. 

Jimmy

It happens. 

Dobblebobble

Only been an hour. 

Blouter

It's been an hour. 

Amnon and Lyra

Haven't even left a guild. Yeah. 

Jimmy

Um. All right, so I'm gonna say you get, like, a simple Pikmin. Lydia. 

Speaker M

Okay, cool. Let's do this. 

Jimmy

Uh. That's okay. Y'all taking your cart? Are you leaving it and just taking the horses or. 

Bjorn

I'm just riding my pig. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Speaker P

Um. 

Amnon and Lyra

I will take the cart. 

Dobblebobble

So that way we have a way back. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Bjorn

Excuse me. 

Jimmy

It's okay. 

Speaker M

Why is the biggest cart? 

Jimmy

Where is. I need this big map. Where is this? All the way. The big. 

Speaker M

Real quick. 

Jimmy

Okay. Okay, I see, so you guys, um, go. You're going ways, um, from Finland. Um, going up towards mountain or now mountain to, uh, the tribal trail that's, you know, the main, your main east west expressway trail that you guys usually been taking back and forth here. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Um. So. I'm going to say it's going to take like probably like three hours and you guys are going to get up. Um, and you see the trail leading north into the woods. Um, from the tribal trail. In those three hours. You guys see nothing of occurrence like special. The loggers camp, you know, is directly north through the forest, and the hunting lodge is going to be like northeast. Into, like a deeper part of the forest. 

Blouter

Okay. And we're trying to go to the the Falcon thing. 

Amnon and Lyra

That's that. 

Jimmy

Can. 

Blouter

Okay. Yeah. Halfway point on that way. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. 

Jimmy

Here it is. So as you guys arrive, it's dark and, um, a thin, a thin fog is going to be surrounding. What you can see is a fortified compound. On the clearing. Um, it's a it's in a small clearing on the edge of the river. Like the river, like bends, curves down into the forest more. Um, so it's going to be, like, pretty much you have to like. What is it? Mouth tributary. Like a tributary off of it, basically. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Um. It's surrounded by a ten foot high log palisade, and the, um, building is a two story stone and wood affair with high pitched roof, gables, windows or window shutters, and a stone chimney. Attached to the main building is a blocky tower of gray stone, its high roof lined with battlements. Other structures include a two storey stable house, a gate house where a flat roof is enclosed by iron railings. A stone bridge spans the river, ending before an open door set into the gatehouse's outer wall. Mounted next to the door is a bell with a short rope hanging from its clapper. Okay. Um, and I'm going to say, you guys, because you guys came from the South, so you're coming across the river. Um, I gotta send you the map, though. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Dobblebobble

Did you do that? 

Jimmy

Just the way to do it. 

Blouter

Does, uh, does my hawk see anything out of place? 

Amnon and Lyra

Forget about. 

Speaker O

Your goddamn. 

Jimmy

Hawk. 

Blouter

Never forget about my hawk. I'm gonna give it a little stuffed hawk to, like, put on my shoulder. Do it. If I can find a cheap one. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh, shit. 

Speaker G

Call. 

Jimmy

I forgot to tell you something back before you guys got okay. 

Amnon and Lyra

Tell us now. 

Jimmy

Okay. Uh, who wants to pitch? Who wants to pitch money for a bottle of wine? 

Blouter

I were supposed to bring a bottle of wine. 

Jimmy

Yeah, yeah, because Wasabi's recommended bringing. Was supposed to recommend bringing a bottle of wine. It could be good stuff. Could be cheap stuff. 

Blouter

John's buying the best. 

Amnon and Lyra

Bottles of. 

Jimmy

Your choice. 

Amnon and Lyra

How about the best bottle of wine possible? 

Blouter

Thank you. Amnon. 

Bjorn

I'll buy a secondary one because it's always better to have two. 

Dobblebobble

How much is a bottle like? 

Jimmy

Uh, where is it? I'm trying to find it. Hold on. It's like a couple gold pieces, I think. To be honest. 

Blouter

I don't know. When did the stuffed animals get so expensive? 

Bjorn

Since everything got expensive. 

Amnon and Lyra

Mishka. 

Blouter

Yeah. They have some pretty dope ones, though. 

Jimmy

Yeah, we'll call it. We'll call it five gold pieces for a good bottle. Because I think I think I saw it earlier. It was like something more than that. Uh, something like. Here's this one again. Breaking stuff down too fiercely. 

Blouter

Trying to figure. 

Bjorn

Ten gold pieces. 

Jimmy

That's ten gold pieces. Yeah. 

Bjorn

I just did the Googles. Cool. 

Jimmy

And. 

Blouter

I don't know where you found that. Because. What? I just looked up two pieces. Two gold pieces is like a high. 

Bjorn

In Dungeons and Dragons, a common pitcher of wine costs two silver pizzas, which is roughly the same volume as a bottle of fine wine. A bottle of fine wine costs ten gold pieces, with the usual mark up four times the cost. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah, that's not even. 

Jimmy

I mean, it is, but it's confusing. Yes. 

Amnon and Lyra

Mom, I'm on stream. 

Jimmy

I just. Copy the image. Will that work? Oh, I don't have Facebook open right now. Please. Not that way. I'm sorry. I'm trying to get you guys. 

Amnon and Lyra

No, I'm just. 

Blouter

Fucking with you, bro. 

Amnon and Lyra

It's a. 

Jimmy

Apparently a difficult map to get. It's not as easy as the other ones. Where? Okay. 

Blouter

What's the name of the place? 

Jimmy

Boom. It's actually really nice. 

Speaker M

Noise. 

Speaker Q

Lois. 

Amnon and Lyra

Size. 

Blouter

All right. All right. And we're coming across the waters. Yep. From the north. 

Jimmy

Uh, like southeast or southwest? Yeah. 

Blouter

Okay. And did the Hawks see anything? 

Jimmy

Um. I'm freaking losing all my bookmarks. No, having to Google search stuff. All right. Um. Hello? Oh. I'm sorry. Give me, like, three seconds here. 

Amnon and Lyra

Now you're. 

Blouter

Asking. 

Jimmy

I don't think so. 

Speaker L

God can never escape her. 

Amnon and Lyra

God. Um. 

Blouter

Are you. Would you act like you'd even want to? 

Amnon and Lyra

Mhm. 

Bjorn

For maybe about 20 minutes. I'd miss her. 

Blouter

I don't know if I showed you guys this, but these fucking chairs come out and stop. 

Speaker L

Oh, yeah. Stretch those things. 

Blouter

Makes the green screen all bigger and stuff too. 

Speaker L

What's up? 

Blouter

The woods? 

Bjorn

I dig it. 

Speaker R

Cheating. What the hell? 

Blouter

I just I recorded it the other night, and I, I just it's one of my favorite buttons because I know it gets to Jimmy. 

Jimmy

No, that's fine, it's fine. 

Blouter

Sparks. 

Amnon and Lyra

Sparks. 

Jimmy

Wow. Tossing lighter. I tossed down the lighter. It hit the d20, and it rolled the 15. 

Amnon and Lyra

No. 

Jimmy

Um. So. Yeah, that's that's what you guys see. That's what the map looks like. You guys got the map now? Um, yeah. You see a large wood door with a bell next to it. What do you want to do. 

Blouter

Matt? I don't know. 

Amnon and Lyra

But, uh, I did. 

Blouter

Mel's talking. Shit. Uh, I don't know. We're gonna walk across the bridge. What are we supposed to do? 

Jimmy

I don't know, ring the bell. 

Speaker M

Okay. The thing where I can do. 

Dobblebobble

On this spot. 

Jimmy

Ring ring ring ring ring. Ring ring ring. 

Blouter

And all I picture is like, a little like fairy elf. Just making that noise. 

Bjorn

Inspiration point. 

Amnon and Lyra

Ring ring ring. Ring ring ring. 

Jimmy

Uh, anti. Inspiration point. I can give you just advantage whenever I want. 

Blouter

Come on. You know, that was funny though. 

Jimmy

It was. It was okay. Okay. But, um. Yeah. As you ring the bell, um, you see what looks like a, uh. Ming Ming Ming like an Alfred type. We're gonna call him. Yeah, we're gonna call him Alfred. Alfred answers the door, and he's like, who's there? 

Speaker M

It says us the what is our name? 

Speaker H

Yeah. Excuse me. I am blotter, and these are my companion, the Faciles. 

Jimmy

Oh. Uh. What are you doing here? What are you doing here? 

Speaker H

Or we have come for two reasons. Neither one I can remember because I have some great pipeweed right now. Um, but that guy has the paper. 

Bjorn

I just turned and look at Amnon. 

Jimmy

Um. All right, so you're here to rest for the night? Probably. Um, and there are. Supposedly orcs in the woods, you know. You know, orc problem. He's having an orc problem. Slash spellcaster problem. 

Speaker M

Fucking works. 

Blouter

Um, Mel says, keeping us in line. 

Jimmy

All right. Um, yeah. 

Amnon and Lyra

So. 

Jimmy

Yeah. So you guys are here. You guys are, uh. Um. I'm trying to. How do I do an Alfred voice? 

Blouter

Uh, I got you. What would you like me to say? 

Jimmy

Uh. You know, you guys are here to solve our problems. Come on in. Come on. You know, and he's gonna open the door. 

Speaker H

If you gentlemen are here to solve our problems, please enter this way. 

Amnon and Lyra

I was picturing. 

Bjorn

I was picturing more like Sean Connery. 

Dobblebobble

That is not it. 

Blouter

Yeah, no, I tried. 

Jimmy

Hey, guys. Right this way. 

Speaker S

Good evening, gentlemen. If you step into the lodge, I can't. 

Jimmy

I'm afraid I can't do that. 

Blouter

And, uh. 

Speaker H

You know, I, I just have to say, uh, before we go in. This is my absolute favorite doorbell ever. 

Blouter

And I'm going to go ahead and hit the button again. Ring, ring ring. Ring, ring ring. 

Amnon and Lyra

You can. 

Dobblebobble

Stop me. 

Speaker G

Can I just. 

Bjorn

Reach out and flick the fairy? Just be like, yeah, but just. 

Blouter

Just so you guys know, all I wanted to do that for was so I could get this. 

Amnon and Lyra

Ring ring ring. 

Speaker K

Ring ring ring. 

Bjorn

All right, moving on. 

Amnon and Lyra

Moving on I can't. 

Speaker M

The love of God. 

Speaker G

Moving on. 

Speaker M

For the love of gods. 

Jimmy

I can mute myself. Can I mute you? 

Blouter

All right, I'm done, I'm done. We're walking away from the doorbell. 

Jimmy

Ring, ring, ring. Um. He's gonna. 

Speaker L

It wasn't. 

Blouter

Me. 

Speaker M

All right, let's get in this bitch. He's gonna tap. 

Jimmy

You, uh, into the and show you into the, uh, F3. Or do you guys got. Does it give you the F's on on the map I sent? 

Amnon and Lyra

Yes. Absolutely. 

Dobblebobble

Yeah. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yes. Okay. 

Speaker M

Um. Oh, okay. 

Jimmy

So that's it's it's like a bunkhouse. It's a guest house. Uh, carpet. Carpet is straw. On the floor, you know. 

Speaker M

Okay. I immediately go to use the outhouse. 

Amnon and Lyra

Hey, baby. 

Blouter

Thanks. Uh, thanks for the stars. I didn't even see that. 

Jimmy

Um, yeah. And it's got, you know, bunks and little, little racks to store your stuff on. 

Bjorn

Um. Yeah. Yeah. For the sake of getting somewhere, let's like. 

Jimmy

Yeah. I gotta go get some water or something real quick myself, cause I'm dying over here. 

Amnon and Lyra

Intermission. 

Blouter

Yeah. Intermission. Sounds good. I'll be right back, too. 

Amnon and Lyra

God. 

Dobblebobble

That's good. Every now. Well, on a side note, as long as the Rams win by a touchdown, I won 50 bucks. 

Amnon and Lyra

Both sports to which. 

Jimmy

Sorry. The count is getting unbearable, man. 

Amnon and Lyra

I'll be right back. 

Jimmy

Quick intermission. 

Speaker T

And. 

Amnon and Lyra

And what if I'd been doing? Be back. Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

Let's do it. 

Amnon and Lyra

Hey. 

Blouter

Oh, Maddie's still not here. Or Lydia. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh, there you go. 

Jimmy

He might have had pets too. It happens. We've been sitting here for almost two hours. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Jimmy

It happens. 

Blouter

He's also got a wife. Whi's. 

Speaker M

Oh, I got it. Intermission. 

Jimmy

Yeah. It happens. 

Blouter

Did you ask if Matt was taking her? 

Jimmy

I had to get my vape. Two. My vape has been been in the living room this entire time. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh. 

Jimmy

So I've been like, fiending for that shit. And I had cottonmouth like a motherfucker, so I had to. I had to get something to drink. 

Speaker M

Oh, it's too long. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh, wait. 

Blouter

You guys, why don't you have the lights on right now? 

Amnon and Lyra

I can't see him. 

Speaker M

Yeah, I tried it. Yeah, I tried, and it's like we'll turn the light off. Yeah. 

Blouter

I was gonna say turn the light off and lights on back. Light it. Yeah, I'm in the forest. I'm in the water. 

Amnon and Lyra

That is. 

Blouter

I mean, that's pretty dope. That might even work as a green screen. 

Jimmy

I mean, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you turn, it's pretty dark like that. 

Blouter

I don't know. It's just a thought. 

Jimmy

No, you just gotta. You gotta get a, uh. 

Blouter

Some sort of front facing light. 

Jimmy

Yeah. That's not too bright, though. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Blouter

I mean, if that's where you guys are going to be streaming from, but I assume you're once you get the game room set up, it'll be from there. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. 

Blouter

Oh, disco Ray, party time. 

Amnon and Lyra

Let's go. Oh, shit! 

Speaker M

Oh my God! 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh! 

Speaker M

God, bill! 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh, I've been holding. 

Speaker M

On so funny. Oh, that's so funny. All right, all right, we're back. Let's do our shit. 

Jimmy

Alfred's gonna, um, make make yourselves comfortable. I will let them master know you were here, and he's gonna scurry off. 

Speaker H

I wonder, with the river being out front, if he is a master baker. Fishing. 

Speaker M

You know it. 

Blouter

Wiese. Everybody, this is my amazing cat. If you haven't met him yet. Come here, crazy boy. Come say hi to the world, monkey. 

Amnon and Lyra

Say hello. 

Bjorn

My character is going to take a walk and check out the lodge. So. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. Where do you want to go? I guess. 

Speaker M

The fridge. 

Bjorn

We are just taking a walk, checking it out. I'm going to leave. We're in. What? F3. Yeah. I'm going to walk out in the North Yard. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. 

Amnon and Lyra

Where? 

Jimmy

I don't know. It's just, you know. A dirt and grass yard. Um. There's some. Fortification type things. Hey. 

Amnon and Lyra

Stop! 

Jimmy

You see that? You see this? You know the outhouse. 

Amnon and Lyra

Hey, man. 

Jimmy

The describing. 

Amnon and Lyra

The map. 

Dobblebobble

To you that. 

Amnon and Lyra

You can see. 

Bjorn

Well, I have to pull it up in a separate window and whatnot. It's difficult. 

Jimmy

Oh, yeah. I mean, it's just, you know, like, it's like a fortress. Courtyard, man. It's what you would expect. 

Bjorn

All right. Is there like. Can I walk out and, like, walk up and stand on the wall and look around? 

Jimmy

There you go. There's their bill. 

Blouter

I had it up. 

Bjorn

Well, what I'm. What I'm asking is like, buy like F2. That long wall that's like right there. Like, is there a platform to walk up and stand on? 

Jimmy

You came in through F2, which is the gate house. Yeah. 

Amnon and Lyra

There's there's a roof. 

Jimmy

There's a ladder and a trapdoor. 

Bjorn

Okay. Well I'm going to climb up that and like, take a look outside and take a look the surrounding area. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. 

Amnon and Lyra

Really the same. 

Blouter

Thing we saw when we came in. 

Bjorn

Well, there's rumor for orcs. So I'm just looking around. You said perception. Boom. That is a nine. 

Amnon and Lyra

Nein nein, nein. Yeah. 

Jimmy

You don't notice anything out of the ordinary. Okay. What? 

Amnon and Lyra

Well. 

Bjorn

I climbed down and I go to F9. What's everybody else doing? 

Dobblebobble

Waiting for the master to come back. 

Jimmy

Um, so. Yeah, as you guys are waiting. In F3. Uh, you hear, uh, you hear a knock on the door? 

Speaker G

Not. What is it? 

Jimmy

I. It's, uh. It's it's me, Falcon, the owner of this establishment you are currently making a bet in. 

Speaker G

Why? Why would you knock when it's your own door courtesy? 

Jimmy

Because I don't want to see no dick. 

Speaker G

In your hand. 

Speaker H

I mean, it's honestly bigger than you would expect. 

Speaker L

Uh. 

Jimmy

Anyways, jokes aside, uh, what do you, uh. What do you. What are you gentlemen doing here? Gentlemen and lady, as he walks in and sees you guys. That was a good question. I was told you were here to to to fix our problems. But do you, do you know the problems we have? 

Amnon and Lyra

Well. 

Speaker H

Yeah. See, that's that's the great thing about being a wizard and, and a sorcerer is we just kind of know shit. See the hat? 

Jimmy

I mean, yeah, I see two hats. 

Speaker H

That's my point. That's double. 

Jimmy

Did you. Did you enchant a hat? 

Speaker H

Does it look like an enchanted hat? 

Jimmy

Sometimes. 

Speaker H

A double bubble. 

Dobblebobble

You're talking about me, right? 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

Well, on that note, though, because he doesn't know I'm just a hat. I'm going to. Because it's a hat of disguise. Transform it into a brick in front of him. Who? It. 

Jimmy

What? What precisely are you using? 

Dobblebobble

Well I had. 

Jimmy

Huh? 

Dobblebobble

They had to disguise. 

Jimmy

So the sky itself lets you like. Uh, I don't I don't know if you can make yourself look like a brick, I mean, I. 

Dobblebobble

What else would I make myself look like? I'm not like I'm a hat. 

Blouter

I think being that Ben's character is already a hat, like an inanimate object, I think we should maybe not a brick, but like something of equal size. 

Jimmy

You know what? Do me a favor and roll me like, I don't know, a v8 V8. Yeah, because. Watch this. We're going to do it this way. You. You got two? 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Jimmy

So the second image I see. 

Dobblebobble

What is this. 

Amnon and Lyra

Crap? 

Jimmy

Yeah, yeah. That made you roll a d8. Perfect. This. This is what you transform into? Uh, no. I just wanted the picture. It was supposed to be a picture. Go back. Okay. So, uh. Uh, here. Yeah, I can do that. Uh, yeah. So this one right here. 

Amnon and Lyra

Can you see that? 

Jimmy

It's, uh. I'm. I'm sharing the screen. Yeah. There. Okay. 

Dobblebobble

Wait. What? Oh, no, I'm not looking at, uh. I turned into what? 

Jimmy

You turned into a little statue. 

Amnon and Lyra

I'm okay with. 

Dobblebobble

That. Look at me. I'm ripped. 

Amnon and Lyra

Baby. 

Bjorn

Okay, so that statue, it looks like a frozen turd. 

Amnon and Lyra

Inspiration point to the DM. That was great. 

Jimmy

That's dangerous to be a brick. You got to be a humanoid brick, sir. 

Amnon and Lyra

That works. 

Speaker H

So, uh. Yeah, that that is my hat statue thing. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. 

Speaker H

Like I said, we know things. 

Dobblebobble

Sorry. I like flies towards my head as a statue. 

Jimmy

Um. So, I mean, do you need information? Do you, do you need me to help you? Like. 

Speaker H

What do you got going on? 

Jimmy

Well, I mean, there's there's been a lot, a lot more orcs in the woods of late. I've noticed it's kind of driving away my customers. Um. 

Speaker H

We were going to name ourselves the orc slayers. But someone named us the assholes. Well, them assholes. I'm just planning. 

Jimmy

Uh, I mean, I've heard of bloater in the flask. The vassals I've heard. I've heard of flounder. 

Speaker H

Wait wait, wait. You've heard of Walter and the vassals? Yeah. What? Where? 

Jimmy

Uh oh. So so so the dwarf's the one I gotta watch out for. All right. Yeah. Okay. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. 

Speaker H

Probably. But. Yeah. 

Jimmy

Wait. Speaking of which, where is that dwarf? 

Speaker H

Walking off. 

Jimmy

The dwarf. My my servant told me you guys came in with. 

Speaker H

I'm done. You did you bring a dwarf? Your audio cut out, but. 

Jimmy

And, uh, I'm going to I'm going to go back to Matt real quick. 

Blouter

Yeah. John, your audio cut out. 

Jimmy

Um, so F9, as you're walking in, you notice it's a kitchen. So you can tell this was, uh, so it was a well used space, but now it looks like it like some of it is old and some of it is new. 

Bjorn

Okay. 

Jimmy

Um, like, the tables and stuff are new, but like the old cookware and stuff, uh, old, you know, the old, old stone stoves and furnace fireplaces and stuff, you know? Uh, you notice that, like. Yeah, the tables and chairs and stuff are, you know, not chairs so much, but tables and chopping blocks and that type of thing are relatively new, though. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Bjorn

I proceed through F10 and to F11. I'm just kind of wandering around. 

Jimmy

Okay, so just roll me a, uh, as as you're walking through F10, you notice that the pantry. Um. And then in your own 11, you said. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Jimmy

So you walk into the, uh. Dining dining hall. There's like, I'm gonna say three, like, you know, bigger, longer tables, like lining the hall. Um, and then you see stairs going up to a, like, balconies around. And, um, you can see, like, trophies mounted to the walls up there, like hunting trophies. 

Bjorn

Okay, now I head back to F3. I just started making my way back. Just want to go for a walk. Check the place out. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Uh. Lauter and Amnon and Lyra. Back to y'all. So, yeah. Is there anything I can help you with? Anything? Uh, well. 

Blouter

I mean, um. John, are you? 

Jimmy

There might be some magical stuff going on. Uh, I'm not 100% sure. 

Blouter

But I can hear you. I muted you, but I unmuted you because of the crunching. So what do you want to say here? 

Amnon and Lyra

I want to go atop the tower. Look out. 

Blouter

Okay. Uh, I guess I'm just gonna. I'm gonna ask him, like, what's the deal? What's what's going on here? 

Jimmy

So, I mean, the orcs might be in league with these evil half orcs that, you know, might might have some magic to them. I'm not 100% sure. Like they got they got something going on with them. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

And like last I knew, those the half orcs had set up in the. The forest. Uh, like mansion man. Woodland manse. 

Blouter

Okay. And, uh, do you have do you have men that are willing to fight? 

Jimmy

No, I mean, it's just me here, like me. And, you know, Alfred. But Alfred, he's. He's no good in a fight. 

Blouter

Protecting all this. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Jimmy

I'm good. I'm good with my bow. 

Blouter

Okay. Got it. Uh. And why do you think they're magic? 

Jimmy

I mean, I don't know, man. Um. I mean. I the the demands that they took took shelter in, you know, was built by by a scholar who studied elven runes. So like. 

Amnon and Lyra

Whoa, whoa, whoa. 

Blouter

Now you've perked my attention here. But I don't know if you noticed, but us wizards no shit because we learned shit. So, uh, they're in a building with elven runes? 

Jimmy

Yeah, yeah. And, I mean, if you guys take care of this, this this problem. Yeah, I got got these nice shiny boots that, you know, just came in the other day from a friend, a long time friend of mine. Um. And the boots of Elvenkind, which I don't know where the hell the card is. Um. 

Blouter

Double bubble. Are you still a statue? 

Jimmy

Yes, I said otherwise. 

Blouter

He hasn't said anything, which is odd. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh oh. Oh. 

Bjorn

While you wear these boots, your steps make no sound. Regardless of the surface you are moving across. You also have advantage on dexterity stealth checks that rely on moving silently. 

Blouter

Babble, babble about me. Are you still a statue? 

Dobblebobble

I mean, yeah, I haven't changed back yet. Okay. 

Blouter

I'm sorry. Maddie, can you repeat that one more time? Because I'm an asshole? 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Bjorn

While you wear these boots, your steps make no sound. Regardless of the surface. You are moving across. You also have advantage on dexterity stealth checks that rely on moving silently. 

Blouter

Ooh, that sounds like a double bobble thing. 

Bjorn

Or a job thing. 

Jimmy

Or Bjorn thing. 

Blouter

Bjorn. 

Amnon and Lyra

I'm like. 

Bjorn

The opposite of quiet. I'm like, smash everything. Wait. 

Jimmy

No, wait. Because nobody in the nobody in the party can wear heavy armor. Huh? I was about to say that, like, cancels out the disadvantage on heavy armors. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Blouter

Is it an armor or is it just a pair of boots? 

Jimmy

It's just a pair of boots. 

Blouter

Oh, that might be a me thing. 

Jimmy

Yeah. I don't don't think it counts as armor. 

Bjorn

Yeah, it just says footwear. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Blouter

I'm. I'm more interested in what these ruins might hold. Ruins of ruins. 

Amnon and Lyra

Um. 

Dobblebobble

Yeah. I'm not going to lie, I got a little too high. 

Amnon and Lyra

There are these. 

Dobblebobble

Rules we're talking about. 

Blouter

It's where that works are held up. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. Thank you. 

Dobblebobble

Gotcha. And these boots are at the same place. 

Blouter

No, he's got them as a reward for helping him. Like an extra reward. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh, okay. 

Jimmy

So I'm just trying to. Trying to see something real quick here, guys. There we go. So. Yeah. Okay. 

Bjorn

They don't count as a type of armor. I'm looking at it right now. 

Blouter

Yeah, I if they're just a pair of boots so that I don't know. Do you. Can you wear armor? Double bubble. 

Dobblebobble

No, I don't choose to, because, um, if I don't wear em or my AC is like 18 or 15 or something. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Bjorn

If anybody did wear heavy armor, the boots would cancel out the disadvantage. 

Jimmy

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. That's. That's all I was thinking. 

Dobblebobble

My dragon resilience increases my HP by four when I am not wearing armor. My AC. 

Blouter

Okay. 

Amnon and Lyra

So. And. 

Jimmy

Um, so. Yeah. So to let you guys know. Yeah, you guys can, you know, stay the night. Um, but, yeah, the woodland manse is east southeast from here, and you guys got supplies, it looks like with you, um, that might that they're not for here. So I'm guessing you guys are on your way to the loggers camp. And that is north. Northwest. West. West. Northwest. 

Blouter

All right. Uh, who's got a time check? Because I don't know what time it actually is. 

Amnon and Lyra

It is 1012, 1015. 

Blouter

What time are we planning on going till tonight? 

Jimmy

It is up to you guys. That. That is. 

Amnon and Lyra

Good. 

Blouter

I'm good with 11. 

Bjorn

I can do 11. 

Blouter

John. Lydia. 

Amnon and Lyra

If I can make it that much longer. 

Blouter

Yeah, that's. That's okay. Um, I mean, you guys can always rest up here. Yeah, I know, I can tell you're very inactive tonight, which is unusual. Um. I mean, you guys can always rest up here. 

Speaker L

Whoa. 

Blouter

What is that? 

Amnon and Lyra

That's a. 

Dobblebobble

Holy crap. 

Blouter

That must have been a Jimmy thing. 

Speaker M

No, I think it was a me thing. Sorry. 

Jimmy

It might have been somebody trying to show some love. 

Speaker H

Appreciate the love. Um, so would you mind if our friends Amnon and Lyra rested here? 

Jimmy

Well, I mean. 

Bjorn

We can say they're protecting the supplies. 

Speaker H

It's good. The supplies need protecting. 

Jimmy

It's also still. 

Amnon and Lyra

Dark. 

Jimmy

What up? Jade? Uh. Um. It's also. 

Amnon and Lyra

What? 

Jimmy

It's also still dark. So you guys gotta take, like, a long rest here anyways, um. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. I'm not going to get when I make that mistake. Pussy. 

Bjorn

Oh, sorry. 

Amnon and Lyra

Excuse me. Everyone almost died, huh? 

Blouter

Yeah. You're not wrong. 

Amnon and Lyra

Don't die. 

Blouter

Not all of us are built like tanks. Matthew. 

Amnon and Lyra

And. 

Jimmy

Yeah. I mean. I just feel like. No offense, but, I mean, you guys do got the. The higher lesson. 

Bjorn

Listen, Jimmy, if you want us to take a long fucking rest, just be like you fuckers are. 

Amnon and Lyra

Resting, do you? 

Blouter

Does this need to be a full party activity? Can you scale it? Yeah, for a small party. 

Bjorn

Okay, so we're all taking a long rest. 

Jimmy

I mean, not not the woodland manse part of it. The loggers camp part. Yeah, but. 

Blouter

Scale down. That's what it that's what a DM does. 

Bjorn

Let's just make a decision. 

Jimmy

All right. Thank you guys. Yeah. If you guys are gonna head towards the logger camp, you still got you got you guys. Everybody still gets a long rest right now because you're not going to head out until the morning. Okay? You guys. Yeah. You guys can not guard the supplies, but maybe just, you know, help Falcon with fortifications and stuff in your downtime if you guys are. You know, whoever's leaving to pause and pick up the like. Because the woodland manse is more important than loggers can't, you know. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Blouter

So we're going to the the ruins, right? Like to fight these orcs? 

Jimmy

No, you're going to the to deliver the supplies. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. Sorry about that. 

Jimmy

Because that's the lesser important class. Because that's just for wizzle. You know, he's just trying. 

Amnon and Lyra

Because it was the. 

Blouter

Last. Because it was the last one anyways. Got it. Okay, so. Yeah, we're. You guys are helping fortifications. John. Lydia. Have a wonderful night. 

Amnon and Lyra

Sparks. Before we go. 

Jimmy

Oh, certainly. 

Blouter

Sparks. Uh, I don't know what that one that was wrong, but. 

Jimmy

Oh, Jesus Christ, that hurt. 

Blouter

Is it that loud? It shouldn't be that loud. 

Jimmy

I don't know, just. 

Amnon and Lyra

Safe travels. Good luck. 

Jimmy

Yeah, just plain guys get some rest. Yeah. I guess you're still in chaos over there, I guess. Yeah. Good night. 

Amnon and Lyra

My guys. 

Jimmy

Nice. All right. So. 

Amnon and Lyra

Ooh, ooh. 

Speaker I

That that might fix bubble. Bubble sometimes. 

Dobblebobble

By Robin Ambrosian. 

Speaker I

Uh, no. You froze. All right, I can close this. 

Blouter

I didn't realize my voice changer was on. 

Speaker U

Oh, Jesus. 

Blouter

That might fix button. 

Dobblebobble

Nothing affects me, bro. 

Jimmy

Well, people actually just. Yeah, we might help. 

Blouter

Dude, you look like, uh, you ever seen Sweeney Todd? 

Dobblebobble

No. 

Blouter

You look like the kid from Sweeney Todd. No, not the girl. He looks like the kid. The kid that falls in love with the girl. 

Dobblebobble

Are you talking that dude that looks like. 

Jimmy

That's actually, like, hands down, one of my favorite musicals? 

Blouter

Yeah. It's great. It's a phenomenal movie. And the kid's voice is amazing. I actually, I always thought he looked like jdub's. 

Jimmy

Love that song. Can't sing it, though. 

Blouter

Yeah. All right, so we're moving on to the other camp. Can we do this in a half hour? 

Jimmy

Uh, possibly. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Blouter

On our way. 

Dobblebobble

We keep the gold this time. 

Blouter

Yeah. They don't get this cold. 

Jimmy

Um. 

Blouter

Do you hear that, Amnon? In Lyra? 

Speaker L

Nothing. 

Dobblebobble

Nothing for you. 

Jimmy

Okay. So. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

As you guys, huh? 

Dobblebobble

It's another map. 

Jimmy

Uh, I actually, yeah, I do got it. Good. Good call, good call. 

Dobblebobble

Good call. And and also, did anybody give the guy his wine or do we just all have the wine with us? 

Blouter

Well, no, I think the wine was for this man. Not that guy. 

Jimmy

No, it was actually supposed to be for Falcon. 

Bjorn

Oh, I do have a bottle. So I bought a bottle to. 

Dobblebobble

Get saucy boys. 

Amnon and Lyra

Um. 

Bjorn

Dude, I still have a barrel of ale attached to my fucking pig, bud. 

Dobblebobble

Oh. That's right. 

Speaker V

Party! 

Jimmy

Um, what am I looking for here? 

Dobblebobble

What are you looking for, Jimmy? 

Bjorn

Decision. 

Blouter

You're telling me, bro. 

Jimmy

Sorry. Oh, God. 

Blouter

So, Ben, are you on a laptop? 

Dobblebobble

Yes, I am. 

Blouter

I'm just trying to figure out why your camera is so small compared to ours. 

Dobblebobble

Oh, yeah. I've been trying to. Because I'm a square. Yeah, I see you guys are rectangle. 

Blouter

And I don't, I don't know if it's just because that's what your camera picks up or what. 

Dobblebobble

I mean, it works out because I, I pop you guys off the website and then run you guys on my side of the screen. And then I have the other window open on the left. 

Blouter

I mean, what if it. As long as it works for you. 

Dobblebobble

Yeah. No, I love it. I can see my sheet, your sheet, everybody sheet. And you guys. 

Amnon and Lyra

So. 

Jimmy

But before that happens. 

Amnon and Lyra

Anyways, that is tiny. 

Jimmy

How is it? Did it not blow up? 

Dobblebobble

It did not blow up. 

Amnon and Lyra

Damn it! Here. 

Blouter

I can blow it up, I got it. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Blouter

Oh, it blows up like crap. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. Like. 

Dobblebobble

Yeah. You see what I'm saying? 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Jimmy

My bad. 

Blouter

It's. Yeah. 

Jimmy

Just fine. Please. 

Blouter

Okay. What am I looking for? 

Jimmy

Loggers camp players. Matt. 

Speaker L

Okay, give me. 

Blouter

Two seconds here, guys. 

Amnon and Lyra

That's a. 

Dobblebobble

Zoom in. 

Jimmy

Sorry I tried. I'm trying to do it quick, you know? 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Blouter

This this this session has been very slow. 

Jimmy

Well, I mean, it's it's bouncing between, like, four locations, like. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

Terrible role playing. 

Amnon and Lyra

Give me some. 

Blouter

So go ahead, start describing it and I'll find it. 

Jimmy

Well, so like I said before, that happens though. Um. Shortly after you guys leave. The, uh, thing. The what? You may call it the Fortress Falcons camp. Um, you. You notice about 60ft in front of you. A wild boar stands in a small clearing. The boar is glaring at you suspiciously. 

Bjorn

I throw a javelin at it. 

Amnon and Lyra

Jesus. 

Jimmy

Uh, roll the head, I guess. 

Speaker W

Yeah. 

Bjorn

Fucking bores me. I ain't fucking around. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Blouter

Maybe just because you smelled like boar. 

Bjorn

Hold on. I'm apparently in the wrong screen. Where are my fucking weapons? 

Blouter

It doesn't have, uh, doesn't have whatchamacallits on it. Squares. It doesn't have squares. But it's a map. 

Jimmy

Yeah, it doesn't really need squares that much like it's. Yep. 

Bjorn

My weapons aren't showing up. That's fucking weird. There we go. Oh, they pop up. What the fuck? Oh, my. My javelins are gone. What the fuck? 

Jimmy

I know you picked them up. 

Bjorn

Apparently, I never did, because they're not even in my inventory. It's a. Okay. Never mind. I don't throw a javelin at their god. 

Jimmy

You should have javelins. Like. Add a couple to your. Push them. Call it. That's. That's fine too. Like. I know you should have at least like 2 or 3 of them. 

Bjorn

I had two of them. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah, we were. 

Blouter

Making a joke about it. We were watching something the other day and someone was throwing spears and we were like, hey, look, it's Matty's character. 

Jimmy

That was me. We were playing grounded and I was throwing like 30, 30 spears out there. 

Amnon and Lyra

That's what it. 

Jimmy

Was at a time. I was just like, yeah, here we go. Boom, boom, boom. And it was working. It's very effective. 

Bjorn

Yeah, dude, they're not even popping up in the inventory thing to add javelin. 

Jimmy

Really? 

Blouter

That they take them out. 

Bjorn

Yeah. All that pops up is javelin of lightning. 

Jimmy

Okay, well. 

Amnon and Lyra

Just. 

Bjorn

Okay. We're just. I'm not using a javelin. Oh, there we go. It doesn't pop up when I search for it, but. 

Blouter

You pop it up for me? 

Bjorn

I got it now. 

Jimmy

One d6 is the damage, so just roll it 20 and add your strength modifier. And then it does it. 

Bjorn

Fixed it. Hold on. There we go. Boom! Roll to hit. I missed. It's a seven. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. Versus stat block. So roll initiative everybody. 

Dobblebobble

Are we embracing and is. Oh, shit. Okay. Where we at in this and corresponding. What? Where we had. 

Jimmy

Uh. You're about 60ft away on a wide enough trail for your wagon of supplies to fit. 

Blouter

This one here. 

Jimmy

I mean, not you're not quite on this map yet. Like you're just in the forest still basically. So you're, like, on your way? Actually, you would be coming in on the east side. 

Blouter

Is this an encounter for this map, or is this just a random encounter? 

Jimmy

This is an encounter for this map. 

Blouter

Okay. Thank you. 

Bjorn

I had 21 for initiative. 

Dobblebobble

Are we doing that? One second. Uh, that's a Nat 20 plus two for 22. 

Blouter

13. 

Jimmy

Okay, so. If you learn. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Uh. Okay, so it is. Yeah. It's going to be double bubble up first. But as the. As the sphere lands next to the board, you're going to see it transform. Into a half orc. With, uh, half orc. Female. With. Like talon claw weapons. Well. Okay. Um, and yeah, like I said, it's going to be double bubble up first. 

Dobblebobble

I don't know what the fuck to do with this thing. Um. Okay. Um. 

Jimmy

If you if you want my my suggestion is the DM. It would be at this point because it is already hostile to eradicate it with extreme force. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Um. 

Bjorn

You're speaking my language. 

Dobblebobble

Well, I'm gonna cast, um, Maximilian's grasp on it. So that big hand is going to come up. And I need a string safe. 

Jimmy

String safe. Okay. 

Dobblebobble

13. 

Jimmy

Yeah. That's going to be, uh, saved. So I still take half damage or. 

Dobblebobble

Um. Let me go. That's a great question. Um. I mean, and like. You can cross the streams? No, because I think because it didn't restrain you. Okay. So I guess that's also the end of my turn. Sorry. So. So. 

Jimmy

So it would be, um, to water or. No beer? No. It's beer. That's why I gotta. I say, there's too many bees in the party. 

Bjorn

How far away am I from the boar? 

Jimmy

Uh, like. 60ft. Initially when you saw it. So. 

Bjorn

I'm going to charge it on my bore. Then swing at it with my warhammer. 

Jimmy

Okay. Okay. 

Bjorn

Rolled it. 

Jimmy

Yeah, yeah. I don't see why you wouldn't be able to cover that distance or 23. Um. That's. Yeah. Sorry. That's definitely gonna hit. 

Bjorn

Eight damage. 

Jimmy

Nice. 

Bjorn

Can I do a follow up attack? But instead of me. Attack! Have my boar try to boar. The other boar or gaur? The other boar. 

Dobblebobble

Gordy. Aug. 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah, I guess. 

Bjorn

How do I roll for that? 

Jimmy

Uh, roll? I mean, you you should have your your stats somewhere, like Billy should have his stats or Falcon stats, whatever he's got. Birdie, birdie wise. 

Dobblebobble

I don't have it. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh, I'm having problems. 

Blouter

With my camera. Sorry. I'm having a problem with my camera. 

Bjorn

See, the only stats you gave it gave me was for the, um, AC you didn't give me a text at. Okay, let me try to Google it. 

Jimmy

4 or 5 E just hit and bore. Yeah. Five e it'll pull up real quick. Listen, I'll tell you what to add to the to the roll, you know. 

Bjorn

It says strength 13. 

Jimmy

So that would be a plus one. So roll a 20 plus one for. 

Bjorn

Three. 

Jimmy

So yeah you're he's you're you're going to whack the, uh, thing so much with the, uh, hammer. It's actually going to kind of do a little bit of pushback on them, you know, and your bore is going to miss with his bore. Yeah. Fair enough. Um. And then it is going to be. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. 

Jimmy

The half orcs turn. 

Dobblebobble

Where did. 

Jimmy

15ft. Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

It was the map. 

Jimmy

What do I do? That. So, um. The. Half hour is going to. 

Amnon and Lyra

Whatever. 

Jimmy

Clap its hands together and a large burst of energy is going to. Or large burst of sound is going to. Strike out from it. Um, you have to roll me a constitution, save for yourself and the poor baby. 

Dobblebobble

So give leaving for Matty. 

Bjorn

You say Constitution, save for me? Yep. 

Dobblebobble

And the boar. 

Jimmy

And the boar. 

Bjorn

22 for me. Um, so I do for the boar. I would do a 20 plus one. Right? 

Speaker X

Wild. 

Jimmy

Yeah, well, whatever his constitution is. Yeah. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

The modifier on it would be 18. 

Blouter

Can you all see and hear me? 

Amnon and Lyra

I yeah. 

Jimmy

I can. 

Dobblebobble

See you. 

Jimmy

You might be a little frozen. 

Amnon and Lyra

But frozen. 

Blouter

Whatever. I don't even care. Cool. 

Dobblebobble

That's a good frozen picture. At least look like a desperado staring off into the distance. 

Amnon and Lyra

I'll take it. 

Blouter

Up into the left or up into the right. 

Dobblebobble

Uh, it is up into my left. 

Blouter

Up to the left. 

Dobblebobble

To the left. 

Jimmy

So you are going to make the save. 

Dobblebobble

And then we got an 18 and did it live. 

Jimmy

The border is going to make the save as well. Okay. Um. So neither one of you is pushed. But you do both. Take six damage. 

Bjorn

Six damage. Okay. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Six. Uh. Thunder damage. 

Speaker G

No. No. 

Jimmy

And. Yeah, that's going to be its turn. 

Bjorn

Ignore the um. Oh, nevermind. 

Jimmy

So it's going to be blow up. 

Blouter

All right. Uh, Firebolt. 

Dobblebobble

Fireball. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um, remind me again what that does. 

Blouter

Uh, probably not hit with a nine. 

Jimmy

Probably not hit with a nine. Uh, yeah. Probably not. Yeah. If it's like a regular attack type situation, then yeah. 

Speaker Y

Okay. 

Blouter

Uh, what? So I have two weapon fighting. Is that. Can I can I two weapon attack? As in magic? 

Jimmy

No, you would be able to use your off hand weapon, basically. 

Blouter

So I can't cast magic because I have a sword. I mean, a sword is kind of just a metal staff. 

Jimmy

Saying sir. Wrong, sir. 

Amnon and Lyra

Saying sir. 

Blouter

You know what I'm saying. 

Amnon and Lyra

Sir? 

Blouter

Okay. It was worth his time. It was worth a shot. 

Jimmy

Um, yeah, it's more so for like. It's more for Marshalls, really. Um, because as, like, you can, uh, you might not have anything else as a bonus. Action. Huh? 

Amnon and Lyra

Mhm. Um, so. 

Jimmy

Back to the double bubble, I guess. Then, unless. Billy, you want to get closer, you want to. Now, you probably don't want to get close to home again. 

Blouter

Yeah, no. I'm good. Uh, I mean, if you let me cast shield as a bonus action, I would like to do that. 

Jimmy

It's. It's a reaction, isn't it, though? 

Blouter

Uh, no. Uh, actually, maybe I'm thinking of the wrong spell. Um. 

Speaker U

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. What's it called? 

Blouter

Mage armour is what I was looking for. It's my armour, buff. 

Jimmy

No, that's. That's okay. 

Amnon and Lyra

Cool. 

Blouter

Uh, no. In fact, I'm going to go farther away. 

Dobblebobble

Please leave me alone. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Dobblebobble

Okay. My turn. 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah. It's double bubble, right? Yeah, yeah. 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. Ah. Um. 

Dobblebobble

I'll take damage. So I guess I'm gonna go in with, um, magic missile, baby level magic missile. 

Jimmy

Magic missile. All right, well, you know, just roll it. Roll that damage. Roll that damage on that magic damage. 

Dobblebobble

Five times. 

Jimmy

315 damage. Nice. Nice. 

Speaker L

It's all of that. 

Jimmy

Um, yeah. With that, you're going to see the thing, uh, and it's, you know, it's it's still looking surprisingly, like, sturdy. 

Bjorn

Um, is this a bore or a dire bore? 

Blouter

Note this is an orc at work. 

Jimmy

It's a shape changer, is what it is. You saw it transform from a bore into a half orc. 

Bjorn

Oh my bad, I misunderstood. 

Dobblebobble

I also put on my my, uh, wooden necklace. 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah. 

Dobblebobble

I got from the. 

Amnon and Lyra

Sure we got. 

Dobblebobble

Our little dude a weird guy. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Where are you putting? Are you putting it, like, on the outside of your hat? Are you putting it on your actual neck? This is probably not gnome sized, is all I'm saying. Like, it's probably like a chain on you. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

Can I have it sort of hanging like an OG, like off the hat, around the hat kind of thing. It's like people can see it. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Uh, yeah, you can do that. 

Amnon and Lyra

Cool. 

Jimmy

That was. Pretty much what? Sorry. Somebody in my chat Dierk called it a dire work, like a dire wolf, but. Um. All right. 

Dobblebobble

And, uh, that was my turn. Noclip and all. 

Jimmy

So then it is back to Bjorn. 

Bjorn

I won't take another swing at it. 

Jimmy

Uh, how much HP does your boy have, sir? Just out of curiosity, um. 

Bjorn

Give me one second. I gotta cycle through pages again. 

Dobblebobble

It's not gonna make it. 

Bjorn

Uh, you'd be surprised. 

Jimmy

Yeah, it might have a decent chunk. 

Bjorn

I just 21 hit points. Um, minus the six damage. 

Jimmy

Okay, so 15 left. Okay. Just wondering. Just curious. Just inquiring minds want to know. 

Amnon and Lyra

No. 

Bjorn

After I saw those stats, I put all the stats for the boar in the. 

Jimmy

Oh, okay. But I gotta. 

Bjorn

Keep cycling back through my pages. 

Jimmy

You know, if you click that dropdown menu, you can cycle between them super quick. 

Bjorn

Captain. I'm on my phone. 

Jimmy

You should still have, like, a little drop down bar at the top. Should like. Oh, like where? It says, like the category of it. 

Bjorn

Yeah, yeah. You know, you could do that. Thank you man. All right. So yeah I'm go to Big Daddy Balls this and I'm swinging at it okay. 

Jimmy

Throw it ahead. 

Bjorn

16 to hit. 

Jimmy

Uh that's gonna hit. So roll some damage. 

Bjorn

11. 

Jimmy

Damn. Let's go hit. Um, as you do that, like you see it just like you know it. Stunned it a little bit when you did that. Like, it's not like not like mechanically it's not stunned, but, you know, physical. 

Bjorn

My follow up action I'm hitting it again. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

24 that. Yeah, that's definitely hitting. 

Blouter

Hey, what's our extra guys doing? 

Bjorn

Anything for another seven damage? Yeah. 

Jimmy

I mean, who hired something I didn't know? 

Bjorn

I never went through with it. Yeah. 

Blouter

Ben hired. 

Jimmy

You see? You see an arrow. Come, come from from behind you guys. And it does four damage. 

Blouter

Pretty cool. Thanks. 

Jimmy

You gotta remind me of these things, guys. Sorry. I got a lot of things to track, okay? 

Blouter

I reminded. 

Amnon and Lyra

You. Um. 

Jimmy

So another seven damage to. All right? Yes, sir. Yeah. You see, it's getting angry. 

Amnon and Lyra

Like, just fucking die. 

Jimmy

You see, it might, might, might be trapped, feeling trapped and might be getting ready to go all out. Um. Where is everybody? 

Speaker Q

I'm smack the. 

Bjorn

Shit out of it. 

Dobblebobble

I'm standing where he originally threw the javelin. 

Blouter

Yeah, I'm about 90ft away. 

Jimmy

You're about 90ft away. Yeah. Because you kept going. 

Blouter

Yeah, I backed up. 

Jimmy

So. Yeah. This, uh. You're going to see. This half orc. Oh. Like this. And then, like, do a disco move and go, like, ooh. And then a bolt of lightning streaks from its hand. Um. And everybody's general direction. I'm going to say like, okay, you know, um, we're going to have to I'm going to say it's definitely more towards Matt and his war. So I'm going to give you guys advantage on your deck saves. And Matt, you're just getting regular deck saves. 

Bjorn

Okay I'll tell you what. He kills my boy. I'm gonna skull fuck it when it's dead. Not my boy. I'm gonna skull fuck. I'm gonna skull fuck. 

Blouter

All right. Dexterity saving throws. You said. 

Speaker Q

Yes. 

Dobblebobble

17 from all of us. 

Blouter

Yeah. Um, you get advantage on them. Roll two. 

Bjorn

You want one from my borotou. 

Dobblebobble

Yeah, that's a Nat 20. Let's go. 

Blouter

I got a 21. 

Jimmy

Oh, man. Everybody dodged though. 

Bjorn

Uh, my board got a four. 

Jimmy

Okay, so the board did not die. Okay. Um. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh. 

Speaker G

Golf bucks up. 

Blouter

All right. Remember what? Remember, we're on stream. You can't get. 

Amnon and Lyra

I mean, two. 

Blouter

Graphic there. 

Speaker R

I'm not going to go into detail. I think everybody can figure it out. Yeah. 

Blouter

You can kind of say what you said and leave it at that. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah, yeah. 

Speaker Q

I'm behaving I know. 

Blouter

I know, you're upset. 

Speaker Q

Sort of. 

Blouter

Sorta. 

Speaker S

It was my pet man. 

Dobblebobble

It was the board. 

Blouter

And Jimmy's fine now. Right now. That was a lot nice. He just rolled. 

Bjorn

I'm preparing. It's dead. 

Blouter

Uh uh. No, no, no. Jimmy's afraid Matt's gonna go on a rampage. 

Amnon and Lyra

So it's not. 

Dobblebobble

That. 

Jimmy

Level. Is. Going to take. Six points of damage. 

Blouter

With a net 20. 

Dobblebobble

The net 20. 

Jimmy

It it's half as much on it that it's just a save dude I mean you're taking half as much. 

Amnon and Lyra

Wow. 

Jimmy

Um. And I'm giving you a little bonus actually off as well for the necklace on your your hat. 

Bjorn

So how do I how do I dodge it, though? You're taking damage. 

Jimmy

Don't worry. You're taking damage to it. He just gets a little bit less damage because he specifically put on that wood necklace. 

Speaker Q

Oh, okay. 

Jimmy

Before getting hit with his lightning. 

Blouter

Wait wait wait. That wood necklace. 

Bjorn

Yes. 

Speaker O

That wood necklace. 

Amnon and Lyra

Awesome. 

Blouter

Awesome. Uh, just real quick, I'm gonna. I'm gonna, uh, take a puff from my pipe and blow the amulet on there again. 

Dobblebobble

The powers bestowed upon. 

Speaker G

Me double blow. 

Jimmy

Um, blaster, you're gonna you're gonna you're gonna take ten. Oh, Bjorn, you're going to take ten. 

Blouter

Uh, just so you guys know, that's like half my hit points. 

Dobblebobble

Um, you know, our healer fucking bailed. 

Bjorn

No, I got healing potions. 

Dobblebobble

Oh. Let's go. We got a new healer in the house. 

Jimmy

And as you guys are recovering from the flash and the shot that, like, boomed behind you guys as you dodged, you smell something roasting. 

Blouter

To. That's. That's Ben's extra. He's gone. 

Dobblebobble

No, I should have been able to roll for him. 

Jimmy

Oh yeah I forgot role for him to. 

Dobblebobble

What do you want? 

Blouter

Dexterity. Saving throw. Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

What's the dexterity? 

Jimmy

He's an archer. So I'm going to say give him a plus two to Dex, at least. 

Blouter

Roll a. 

Amnon and Lyra

2018. 

Dobblebobble

And then another Nat 20. 

Blouter

Nice. You really like three of those at night. 

Jimmy

So he takes damage. I'm going to say he's probably got at least 20 health. Maybe 30 being an archer, you know? 

Blouter

Yeah, he was a good one, too. He said he was a good one. 

Speaker Q

Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

I paid top dollar. You better be. 

Bjorn

Okay. I don't care what happened to my boar. 

Speaker O

That's. That's what you smell. 

Jimmy

Roasting, sir. 

Speaker G

Oh. 

Dobblebobble

A crispy bacon. 

Blouter

Uh, I'm not gonna lie. I do want to eat it. 

Bjorn

We will. 

Amnon and Lyra

We will. 

Bjorn

It took. 

Speaker O

Straight. 

Jimmy

Straight damage to the face. Okay, whose turn is it to make the Dodge? Yeah. 

Blouter

Whose turn is it? Let's. Oh, is it my turn? 

Amnon and Lyra

Yes, sir. That's okay. 

Blouter

We're gonna we're gonna, we're going to throw a scorching rate. This guy. Oh my God, with. 

Jimmy

What that does. 

Blouter

It's not going to hit. Once. You want me to roll for all three of them. 

Jimmy

I think you do, don't you? 

Blouter

I don't know, I usually it's usually just roll once. 

Jimmy

I thought it's rolled because you can designate different targets with it, right? Yeah. 

Amnon and Lyra

Make a range. 

Dobblebobble

Attack for each. Right. Yeah. 

Jimmy

And it's not an auto hit like. 

Blouter

812 and a 12. 

Jimmy

Um. Yeah, you're gonna like. You're so far back that you're just kind of like, just off just tracing them. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. All right. 

Blouter

So I'm going to take my one and only dagger because I'm. I am mad that he killed the boar, and I'm going to throw my dagger at him as my bonus action because I can make a range attack as a bonus action. Right? As a. 

Amnon and Lyra

Dagger. 

Jimmy

What's the range on a dagger? Though you did explicitly say you were like 90ft away. 

Amnon and Lyra

That's true. Good call. 

Blouter

Good call. It's it's 60ft, so I know I'm not going to do that. Thank you. Um, well, I'm just going to. I'm just going to stand back here and suck. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Blouter

Maybe I'm going to get out of the direct line that everyone else is in, so that doesn't happen again. Can I do that? 

Amnon and Lyra

Uh. I'm just going to scroll up a little bit. Yeah, yeah. 

Jimmy

You can do that. You can take some cover behind trees. I'm going to say you get like half cover and stuff too. 

Amnon and Lyra

Cool. Thanks. 

Speaker P

Yeah that hurt I'm girl. 

Blouter

I'm wounded. And not just my pride because of that role. 

Jimmy

So yeah, it would be back to double bubble. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh, my. 

Dobblebobble

So I'm going to, um, use my metamagic and I'm going to spend one sorcery point to carefully cast a twin version of my Inferno wall on my, uh, agonized scorcher. So that would be one plus. It's winning it. 

Amnon and Lyra

One. Just. 

Dobblebobble

Just checking to see. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah, too. 

Dobblebobble

Awesome. I'm going to cast that bitch twice. You still there? 

Jimmy

Yeah. We're here. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. 

Jimmy

Well you're talking. 

Dobblebobble

Uh, 13. 

Jimmy

13. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Dobblebobble

Does the twins damage, or do you want me to roll for the second spell? Uh. 

Jimmy

Do you get a real hit or do I gotta roll? 

Amnon and Lyra

You gotta roll the dice. 

Jimmy

Okay. And I gotta roll twice. Um, what's the DC? 

Dobblebobble

13. 

Jimmy

Okay. Yeah. Um. You here? Um. You let loose your your your scorching ray, and you just hear this most bloodcurdling scream that you could imagine. Um, as this half orc just kind of starts melting. Um, world War two. Now, world War two. Napalm war crime status. 

Amnon and Lyra

Oh. 

Dobblebobble

That's what I'm talking about. 

Amnon and Lyra

Um, okay. 

Jimmy

Youring you like, did 80% of the damage to that thing? I'm gonna say probably, though. 

Bjorn

Yeah, but I wanted to kill it. 

Blouter

I did zero. 

Jimmy

Hey, it happens sometimes, man. 

Blouter

Dude, it's happened to me the last two matches. 

Jimmy

It happens. Um. Okay. Um. Would you would you gentlemen want to do? 

Bjorn

Well, I can't skull fuck it now. 

Amnon and Lyra

Well, I mean. 

Jimmy

You could. You just gotta be, you know? 

Amnon and Lyra

Several. 

Jimmy

Piss it out. Use it while it's still warm. 

Amnon and Lyra

Ooh! 

Jimmy

Hit like six different fetishes. Let's go. 

Blouter

Uh, so, are there any more orcs around? Or. It was just him. 

Jimmy

It was just that one. Um. 

Blouter

Okay. Uh, can I do, like, an Arcana check or anything to see if I can tell, like, anything more about it? The magic of it. 

Jimmy

Um. I mean. Yeah, right. Do me history. 

Speaker U

History check? Sure, I guess maybe. 

Blouter

Uh, let me just pull up the right page here. 

Speaker U

I can do that. 

Blouter

And it's going to be a 19. 

Jimmy

So you, um, recognize once you get closer because, you know, you were, like, so far away. You recognize some of, like, the talisman slash like, runes that are carved into its equipment. 

Blouter

Okay. 

Jimmy

Um, you recognize that it's a, um, accurate of torlos. Um, the religious recluses that are granted um spell casting power by Torlos, the god of storms. Their human ancestors bred with orcs and now Anchorites of Talos or half orcs. 

Bjorn

Grey breeds with an orc. 

Blouter

Dude, have you never been on the internet before? 

Bjorn

I know there's a king for everything, bro. 

Jimmy

I don't care. 

Dobblebobble

Bro. It's okay bro. You can admit it. 

Blouter

All right, so can we continue on then? I relay this to the guys. And is there anything on his body? 

Bjorn

These melted? 

Blouter

Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, is there anything left of them? 

Jimmy

So, yeah, you guys can, um. You get a, um. A bone bone talisman necklace thingy. Um. It's just kind of like tusks. You could be orc tusks. Could be, you know, just boar tusks. Can't really tell. Um, and a crude map of the man's. 

Blouter

Okay. So I'm going to take that necklace because I was searching them. Right. And I'm gonna I'm gonna look over to Dabble Bobble. 

Speaker H

Double bubble. 

Speaker G

Yeah. 

Speaker H

I have something to tell you. 

Amnon and Lyra

You. 

Speaker H

I. I've grown close with you, and I apologize for this. But the wooden necklace. What? You know. You know. Yeah. You know how you think it's magical. 

Amnon and Lyra

Yeah. 

Speaker G

The bastard saved me from that. Fucking, like, vapid little like. 

Speaker H

Hey, I want to tell you from the bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry for doing this, but I played a joke on you. And in doing so. Yeah, it's it's not a magical necklace. It's. It was. It was funny at the time, but now I feel bad. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me, man. If you cry, I'm gonna cry. 

Amnon and Lyra

You. 

Speaker H

Hear me out, man. Just hear me out. No, this this. This is my gift to you. I don't know anything about it, but I thought you might like it. And I thought it was a good way to make it up to you. 

Speaker G

Uh, are you sure? 

Speaker H

It is. It is the least that I can do. 

Speaker G

Thank you. 

Speaker U

Dude, are. 

Blouter

You really crying? 

Dobblebobble

No, I'm not really crying. 

Speaker R

That's a little convincing. 

Blouter

It was a little convincing. 

Dobblebobble

That was pretty good, right? 

Speaker R

Yeah, right. 

Blouter

Uh. 

Speaker J

Sure, and. 

Speaker H

I'll wear. 

Speaker G

It with honor as a reminder that even your friends can lie to you, but with the best intentions. 

Speaker J

It was. It was. 

Speaker H

It was only from the goodness of my heart to myself. Don't worry. 

Dobblebobble

I'm going to just throw it in my side pouch. 

Blouter

So, wait, that wooden necklace, did you give him a plus for wearing that? How did that work? 

Jimmy

I yeah, I gave him, I gave him I gave him a slight just just because wood doesn't conduct electricity that well I just okay so I just logic on that one. It wasn't, it wasn't magically like I just gave it to him because he, he specified putting it on, you know. So the best part. 

Blouter

Is though is like, we could have we could have let it go and it still would have played out. Um. 

Amnon and Lyra

All right. 

Blouter

So a little role play out of the way. Uh, we're dropping off this cart. Is there anybody there? 

Jimmy

Um, like, there's. Yeah, there's, like actually like a whole nother, like, battle and thing you got to do there. 

Dobblebobble

And we'll get to it next time. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay. So pause. 

Bjorn

Here. 

Blouter

Yeah. Why. Hold on. Let me why don't me and Ben and Jimmy plan on starting a little earlier? Because we can have time for it. And then you, John and Lydia can jump in. Jimmy, do you think you can scale that battle down for us? 

Jimmy

Why battle? 

Blouter

So like next Thursday? If we start, then the next battle, we're supposed to have to continue this mission. 

Bjorn

I can start earlier next Thursday. It's not a problem. 

Blouter

Yeah, but you got the kid and stuff. 

Speaker Q

Oh, yeah. 

Jimmy

That's actually that would actually probably work out really well. I mean, you guys could also just, like, travel right back to the whatchamacallit and take another long rest so you can heal back up before you guys actually get to the. Because the funny thing is, is the boar is in the supply delivery mission, but it also has to deal with the man's quest. So like gotcha. It's. 

Blouter

Well, why don't why don't we just travel back, do a long rest? Everyone heal up. Because I could definitely use it. 

Jimmy

And then. Yeah, if you guys want to start earlier next week or whatever, we can figure that out. Um, and, yeah, I mean, it's not it's not that big of a deal to scale down the next encounter. 

Amnon and Lyra

Okay? 

Jimmy

It's it's you know, multiple littles anyways. So. 

Blouter

So, uh, chat, if I don't see you, I will see you tomorrow. I'll be on, um. Merry Christmas. Guys, uh, if I don't talk to you, merry Christmas. 

Dobblebobble

Merry Christmas. 

Blouter

But I'm sure I'll text all you. 

Speaker R

So happy. 

Amnon and Lyra

Y'all. Yeah. 

Jimmy

I mean, I'll be. I'll be around still. Thanks for playing, though, guys. Have a good night. Um, yeah. You guys just make it back to the lodge because you guys weren't too far. You know, it's easy enough to get back there. No other incidents. Uh, and. Yeah. 

Blouter

Cool. Logging off. 

Dobblebobble

That was. 

Bjorn

My guess.