Billy

What up, what up? We should we should probably do our, like, regular intro. 

Jimmy

Yeah. What's going on, guys? Uh oh. Yeah. Hey, dudes. Jimmy, I guess my bad, my bad. Our regular intro. He said, um. 

Matt

What's up guys it's Mattie. What's up? 

Matt

It's John. 

Billy

Hey dudes, it's Billy. Uh, for everyone watching the live stream, uh, Lydia is joining us, and, uh, the guy down in the corner with the frozen creepy face is gonna be Ben. 

Ben

What up? What up? Five fools back again. 

Billy

Um, we're going to be doing the, uh. The Doo doo Doo podcast. Dungeons and Dragons campaign, I guess. Yeah. Live. Uh, it'll be up on Spotify in a couple of weeks. Uh, on YouTube too. This is going to be a Facebook Facebook Live exclusive. Oh, yeah. 

Jimmy

For a little while. 

Jon

You, too. Uh, you. 

Billy

Know, it's not on YouTube right now. I put it on Facebook only. 

Jon

Oh, I thought you. You're confusing me because I swear, you just said the vice versa. Yeah, yeah. 

Jimmy

Did I? Yeah. Yeah, but it's. 

Jon

It's what I. 

Billy

Know. I just thought it's on, on YouTube in a couple of weeks. 

Jimmy

No. 

Jon

Like whatever you said Spotify. 

Jimmy

Everything. You're like yeah I'm going to YouTube only it's going to boob tube today. Mm. Well I'm. 

Jon

Ready. Yeah. 

Billy

So there's that. 

Jimmy

Uh, do you guys remember the cliffhanger um, we left off on? 

Jon

Yeah, we did some murder and killed our horses. Yeah. 

Billy

So we were traveling to, uh, to help out Big Al, and we chose to travel through the night. And in doing so, yeah, we got attacked by some crustacean type creatures. 

Ben

Crab people? 

Jon

No. Crab people. Crab like crab. Scorpion deals. 

Billy

Crab Scorpion deals. 

Jon

Yes. Okay. 

Jimmy

You got attacked and you guys fought off and killed three of them, correct? 

Jon

Yes. 

Billy

Thanks. Oh, yeah. 

Jimmy

Before the ground below, the horses ruptured. 

Ben

And two more and two came out. Yep. 

Jon

Killing our horses in the process. 

Billy

Uh, they hadn't killed them yet. They were just. 

Jon

Attacked. Oh, they killed them. 

Billy

Did they know? 

Jon

They they took an acid damage prior and then. Yeah. 

Ben

Oh, that's right. 

Jon

Surprise attack underneath. 

Ben

All right, so we have Maddie's war pig and my pony. 

Jon

Yeah. And a cart. 

Billy

Well, it's okay. I can still manage to pull the cart. That's not an issue. But let's, uh, let's worry about what we got going on. 

Ben

What was our, um, order? 

Jimmy

Uh, in my. 

Jon

Journal initiative, uh. 

Jimmy

We just reached down and grab it. Hold up. Find the right page. Now. There we go. Uh. Uh. 

Ben

Struggles of a DM. 

Billy

Uh, Maddie, you didn't get a chance to see it yet? 

Jimmy

Look, man, I have. 

Jon

My three wizards. 

Jimmy

Three books, two web pages. I got a lot of shit I'm looking at. Okay. 

Ben

That's dope, man. 

Jon

That's dope. Right? 

Jimmy

I had a, uh, another, uh, monitor. 

Billy

Perfect for D&D because it's got, like, the Eye of Ra and then a Pegasus, and then, like, Celtic knotwork around the edge. 

Ben

And just a little of everything. 

Billy

Yeah, with, like, good faded paper. 

Ben

I'm having flashbacks to Age of Mythology now. 

Jon

Dope. 

Billy

I'm digging it. Jimmy's not getting it out of. 

Ben

The restricted section there. 

Billy

It did pull it out of the. 

Jon

Actual leather strips, too. 

Billy

Yeah. 

Jon

Oh. 

Billy

Yeah. Hold on. Let me see. So, if you like, open up the inside. You can see it's like just slits with leather in it. It's pretty. 

Jon

Dope. That's dope. 

Billy

Yeah. I found this at a bargain outlet for cheap, cheap. 

Ben

Cheap. I was gonna ask was Etsy. 

Jon

No, no, I. 

Billy

Don't pay top money for this kind of stuff, bro. Cheap, cheap. 

Jon

Okay, so. 

Jimmy

Uh, after the baby, things come up and put your horses to kind of just, you know, sit there and kind of munch on them for a little bit. And it is going really well. 

Ben

You sound like you're out of water. 

Billy

Yeah, you did sound very muffled for a moment there. 

Ben

Can you repeat all of that? 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Ben

I end up telling myself. 

Jimmy

So when you guys are. When the creatures burst through the ground and hey. 

Billy

Who's playing friends in the background? Because that's gotta. That can't happen. You just gotta lower your mic volume. 

Jon

I hear it. 

Matt

The helper make it worse. 

Ben

I can still hear. 

Billy

Yeah, that's gotta go. 

Jon

I don't hear it anymore either I was gone. 

Billy

I turned off his mic. 

Jon

Oh. 

Ben

Can we sing the song? 

Billy

No. No we cannot. Yeah. 

Jon

Don't. 

Ben

I don't know if the song itself was. 

Jon

Not worth it. Not worth it. 

Ben

Not worth it. Yeah. Sparks. I heard something. 

Billy

Thanks, Maddie. Sorry, but. 

Matt

That's the way I watch TV. 

Billy

Yeah, I know, and Friends is one of my favorites, so I'm down, I get it. What episode is she on? You've never watched friends? 

Ben

Who? 

Jimmy

What kind of millennial are you? 

Matt

Just when I sit on the couch. 

Billy

I'm starting to understand your sense of humor. 

Jimmy

Right. He's an elder. Daniel. He's not even a millennial. Yeah. 

Billy

Yeah. 

Jon

And what year were. 

Billy

You born, Maddie? 

Matt

93. 

Billy

Oh, he'd be a millennial. 

Jimmy

He's totally. He's totally supposed to be a millennial, then. 

Jon

He's a millennial. He's a very young millennial. 

Ben

And so what's happening? So I can go. 

Jon

And just wants to do this. 

Jimmy

So as as the creatures burst through the ground and bite your horses, they're going to stay there and chew on them, and it is going to be doubly bobbly stern double bubble. 

Matt

Get them now. 

Ben

Um, was not expecting, I would say, planning. Um, so how many are there? There's just the two right now that are eating the horses. Yeah. Uh. I am going to cast Magic Missile. And no casting at level two gives me an extra missile, right? 

Jon

Yes, yes. 

Ben

All right. So, yeah, I'm going to cast it to level two and send, uh, two it one and two at the other. 

Jimmy

Alrighty. So roll me some damage, sir. 

Ben

I got four and that's times four. 

Jimmy

So 1685 because your plus one. 

Ben

Oh yeah. Yeah. 

Jimmy

So ten each. 

Jon

Okay. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um, you are gonna. Definitely. They they are definitely going to take notice of you for taking those two boats. Um, they definitely, definitely hurt them. Good. They both let out a roar of pain and look your direction. Okay. 

Ben

Awesome. 

Billy

Maddie, just so you know, your, uh, your mic is connected through your computer, not your actual mic. 

Matt

Oh, Foxtrot. Turn down. Roll. 

Jimmy

Down. Thanks for liking the share. Oh, Jesus Christ, another spark's fine. 

Billy

Fine. Come on, don't get our DM. Two fucking stone, dude. 

Jon

Stoney. Um. All right. So. 

Ben

Uh. 

Jimmy

Anytime it's my turn. 

Ben

No, I'm happy where I'm at. 

Billy

Yeah don't worry I muted you for a second Jimmy cough it out. 

Ben

Okay. Let it out buddy. Really. 

Jimmy

Sure I'm trying to like mute on stream. Mute on fucking this. Too much shit. Uh thanks for the like. 

Billy

What is. Go do something with your man. 

Jimmy

These. These guys tend to give me a little too high sometimes. Okay? It happens. It definitely happens. Yo. 

Matt

Don't blame me. 

Jimmy

No, I smoke for you, Maddie. 

Matt

Whoa whoa, whoa. 

Jon

What is that? 

Billy

What is that noise? 

Jon

Who's playing with a spoon in a metal fucking bowl? 

Billy

Ben. 

Ben

I'm literally. 

Jon

It was Ben. It was. 

Billy

I'm not, not not Ben. I met. 

Jon

Matt. It says the. 

Jimmy

Guy drinking out of the metal coffee cup. 

Jon

All right, Matt. 

Billy

Do me a favor. Down at the bottom of your screen. Where? Where? Hey, where? It has a mic. 

Matt

I know, at my bed. 

Jon

All right, well, we're not offensive. 

Billy

You're not listening to me. Where it has a mic, the little arrow next to it. Click the little arrow. And what's a little arrow say? 

Matt

Abracadabra boom shakalaka. I'm off like a vertebrae, I don't know, there's a bunch of. 

Jimmy

Audio input, audio output. 

Billy

A audio input, click it, and then it should have some sort of setting for like external or something like that. 

Jimmy

Headset connected to this. 

Matt

It just says it's connected to my headset. 

Jon

Okay? Okay. One of these. All right. 

Jimmy

One of these times, maybe we're going to have to have you bring it so we can show you. Yeah. 

Billy

We'll get it all worked out. Okay. Anyways, continue. 

Jimmy

Um. It is, it is your turn. Uh, sir? 

Billy

Uh, okay, so there's two crabs. That's it. Yep. 

Jon

That is it. 

Billy

All right, we're going to go ahead and. Why is my shit frozen? 

Jimmy

Uh, remind me why scorching Ray does. 

Billy

Uh, scorching Ray? You create three rays of fire and hurl them at targets within range. You can hurl them at one target or several. Make a range spell attack for each ray on a hit. The target takes two d6 fire damage at higher levels. Blah blah blah. Okay. 

Jon

So it's. 

Billy

Going to be a 16 to hit. 

Jimmy

For one of them. So one hits. Oh. 

Billy

It's 16 and a 15 and, uh, a nat one. 

Jimmy

Okay, so, um, to your bolts are going to hit. Did you were you all aiming at one or trying to split them up? 

Billy

I was splitting them. It didn't really matter which. 

Jimmy

Okay. So I'm going to say this is, uh, roll damage for two of them. And then I'll tell you what happens with that third one. 

Billy

It's going to be a five for one and, uh, five for the other. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um, so. Yeah, they're they're, uh, looking a little singed after that attack. Uh, they're definitely focusing at the, uh. Were you were you up in the pack? No. You were still by the cart, weren't you? 

Billy

I'm in the cart. Yeah. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um, yeah. So they. Yeah, they're gonna. The one's going to actually turn to face you, and then the other one's still going to be facing, uh, double bubble. 

Jon

Okay. 

Jimmy

Um, and that third bolt, considering it was the first time you using this spell, you kind of, you know, you went to go kind of just with it and, um, you hit, we're going to say the wheel of the wagon with your, your last one. So your cart is. Currently I don't you know, you lost control of the last, I don't know. 

Billy

Okay, so the. 

Jon

Car is on fire. 

Jimmy

You were in the car. I thought you were by the car. So I was just going to have you, like. 

Jon

Yeah. 

Billy

So, like, I hit, I hit the front of the cart. So the front of the cart is on fire? 

Jon

Yes. Okay. Yeah. Great. Um. Kill the horses. Destroy the cart. 

Billy

We don't need them anyways. 

Jimmy

If you want to move away from the, uh. 

Jon

How about you, Wizard? But I don't plan on walking out there. 

Jimmy

Um. And if not, then it is on monster. 

Billy

I'm going to hold position. 

Jon

In the burning cart? 

Billy

Yeah. Can I use a bonus action to try to put out the fire? 

Jimmy

Yeah. Roll, roll me. Survival. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

We under skills, right? Yeah. 

Jon

Yeah, yeah. 

Billy

Ten. 

Jimmy

I'm going to say. 

Billy

It's a basic fire. You stamp it out with your foot. I would say at least. 

Jimmy

Yeah, but like, I'm trying to figure out it's still smoldering. Yeah. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

That's fine. 

Jimmy

That's cool. That's that's how we'll do it. Roll a D4 as well. 

Billy

Roll me a D4 as well. How many times do you have to stomp on this? Three. 

Jimmy

You take three. Fire damages. You stomp out the fire in your robes. 

Jon

Oh, God. So I'm sorry. 

Billy

About that, but I'll take it. Three damage. 

Jimmy

Are you already about that? So you didn't get out of the way? The pukaki. Um. Yeah. Amnon, it's your turn. 

Jon

All right, so, if I recall correctly, I'm standing over by the two dead ones off the side of the road that were knocked off. 

Jimmy

But. Yeah. Or no, you were in the the the one they were in, like the middle of the road. Still, those are the ones that shocked everybody because you finished them both with like one fell blow because they were. Yeah. Right next to each other. 

Jon

Yeah. All right. So I'm gonna I'm gonna. Can I do a quick swap? Pop the sword, axe back, grab the bow. Um. 

Jimmy

Usually would take an action. 

Jon

That would take an action. 

Jimmy

All right. Unless you literally want to drop your weapons where they are and then pull your bow, then that's a bonus. Action. 

Jon

Now, as I. I'll do the. I'm not dropping my weapons now, that's. 

Jimmy

That's why I specify, you know. 

Jon

No. That's fine. Can I do a bonus action. 

Jimmy

Drop your weapons and pull a bow or something like that. It's not. It doesn't take that. Oh, no. I like if you're storing your weapons and then pulling something else, it takes a little longer. 

Jon

I mean. 

Billy

I can send you a. 

Jon

Video of. 

Billy

Of people shooting bows with swords in their hands. 

Jon

Shooting and fucking. 

Jimmy

Yeah, but I got the axe too. 

Jon

I'm doing wielding already. So, so, you know, I mean, I probably. 

Billy

Did that to. 

Jon

Sword to the sheath. Grab the bow. Bonus action. Notch. Two arrows. 

Jimmy

I don't know if you take cannot shoot arrows like that, but. 

Jon

Where's boy? 

Billy

Awfully needy today. 

Jon

Do I have an. I don't even got an inspiration point to do. Lame. 

Jimmy

Okay, so yeah, you can. I mean, bro, pull your bow. 

Jon

All right, pull my bow notch. One arrow. Okay. 

Jimmy

Okay. It would be your turn. 

Matt

I would still be in my rage, wouldn't I? 

Jimmy

How long does it last? Has it? I don't know, actually how long. Rage lasts, like ten minutes or something like that, isn't it? Or is it only a minute? 

Matt

Give me one second. Uh. Yeah. Enter a rage for up to one minute, ten rounds. 

Jimmy

Okay. So, yeah. You still you still got probably like, another five rounds, then? 

Jon

Okay. 

Jimmy

Rage I would say. 

Matt

I'm going to charge the other two. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Matt

Swinging. Uh, I want to say I had my Warhammer equipped, so. Okay. Go for it. Yeah. Ooh. Nat 20 plus six. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. 

Ben

Beautiful. 

Jimmy

So. Yeah. Roll a damage on that. Are you using it? You only hit using a one handed, two handed. 

Matt

It was the only thing I had, like, equipped in my hands at that moment. So it'll be two handed. 

Jimmy

So you don't have your shield equipped? 

Matt

It's on my back right now. I never equipped it into my hand. 

Jimmy

Okay, so just keep in mind that when you don't have a shield equipped, you do lose that two AC. 

Matt

My bad. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Jon

Just for. 

Jimmy

Future reference. 

Matt

My bad. 

Jimmy

So two handed is fine. Roll your d10. I think because it's versatile. Yeah. 

Matt

18. 

Jimmy

So yeah, you're going to, um, you're going to bring the hammer right into one of them's head. One, one of their what you think is heads. And it's just going to kind of like splatter like a watermelon onto the other one. 

Matt

Can I use a bonus action? Take another swing. Actually, I think I can because it says when I'm in a frenzy, a part of. 

Jimmy

You did you did start your frenzy, too. So. I do remember that as well. 

Matt

Yep, Frenzy attack gets one bonus action, so I will use a bonus action being in my frenzy and I will swing it the other one. The three that should go are too many fucking pages. 

Jimmy

Try multiple books, then get back to me. 

Matt

Ten. 

Jimmy

Ten damage. So, yeah, you're gonna, um. 

Matt

Oh, no. It was ten to hit. 

Jimmy

Oh. Yeah, that's that's going to be a mess. Unfortunately. 

Matt

I should have lied to you and said it was the damage. 

Jimmy

I was about to take ten damage from the thing. Yeah, you could have just, you know. 

Jon

No, no. 

Billy

No cheating. 

Jon

Sure. 

Jimmy

I mean, why they're getting me. Get me a little high sometimes, but, you know, I do it to myself. Sparks. 

Matt

Hey, man, at least I'm honest. 

Jimmy

Yes. Um, and then it wraps back around to being. A virus turn. 

Jon

Uh. 

Billy

Let's go. Bard. 

Matt

You motherfuckers are coughing into the mix all the time, and I make a cup of coffee and it's the end of the world. 

Billy

I fucking yell at them, too. Don't worry. 

Jon

Thank you. 

Jimmy

I'm sorry. 

Billy

They're not. Don't lie to us. 

Jimmy

I am, because I hate when people do it. 

Jon

It's your turn. 

Jimmy

Yeah, but I always try to cover my mouth and shit. There's at least two. 

Jon

Creatures that we gotta kill. 

Billy

There's some people that don't like cheesy. 

Jimmy

McGee. Order! What are. 

Jon

We doing? Aren't they dead yet? Oh, we need some bardic inspiration. Let's go. Bard. 

Jimmy

She's got, uh, something too, don't you, Lydia? 

Jon

I have what everybody was talking. 

Jimmy

I said you have some healing spells and shit too, don't you? 

Ben

Maybe, uh, healing word. 

Billy

Let's go. Bard. 

Jon

All right. Uh, I literally can't think. 

Billy

So at this point you can either choose to attack or you can use one of your spells to like they were talking about, heal somebody or give bardic inspiration of some sort. 

Jon

We'll build. I think I only have the energy to attack somebody. Or something. I just. Uh, so I guess I, uh. Ran my rapier into one of their heads. 17. 

Jimmy

Nice 17 definitely hits. 

Jon

Okay. Ten nice. 

Jimmy

Ten damage. Alright. So yeah, with that, you, um. You don't quite hit him in the head, but you catch it in, like, the neck and you're gonna see. It's like it's still alive, but it's it's really. It's probably not feeling good at this point. 

Jon

Okay. You know Samson was dead. Would you like? He says it's not feeling good right now. 

Billy

It says it all the fucking time. 

Jon

We got it, guys. We got it. 

Jimmy

It's kind of, you know, you know? You know. Yeah. 

Jon

Mercy! Stomp! 

Jimmy

Um. But it is going to be its turn and it is going to try to. Um, burrow away from you guys. 

Jon

Bitch! 

Jimmy

Ooh! Uh. 

Jon

Guys? 

Matt

Attack of opportunity. 

Jon

Oh, I want to do, uh. 

Ben

I couldn't do a tackle. 

Jon

I'd really like to do a futures march. 

Jimmy

I mean, the hunter's mark's kind of useless at this. 

Ben

Did it get away or point? 

Jimmy

Um, no, it did not. It's not. It's not feeling good enough to, uh, dig away at this point. 

Jon

Perfect. Yes. 

Jimmy

Um. 

Speaker F

Um. Right. Now. 

Billy

What episode are you on? 

Matt

Ah, yes. My episode. You're on for friends. 

Jon

Yeah, yeah. Can't remember. Um. 

Jimmy

It is back to dabble in college. 

Ben

So I got a question. The the, um. Our carriage is on fire. 

Jon

No. 

Billy

Just smoldering. 

Ben

Just smoldering. Okay, for future reference, if something's on fire, would Ray of Frost put it out? 

Jimmy

Conceivably. Yeah. 

Billy

It might also cause damage to it, though. 

Ben

Fair enough. Um, I'm going to use, uh, Maximilian's earthen grasp, though, to grab this, uh, last one. 

Jimmy

Uh, okay. You got, uh. 

Ben

You're gonna have to do a strength check. 

Jimmy

Strength check. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. 

Billy

Ben, do you have prestidigitation? Prestidigitation I do that will put out a small fire. 

Ben

Oh, well, it wouldn't just be the illusion. 

Billy

No. You instantaneously light or snuff out a candle, a torch or a small campfire. 

Ben

Oh, I can I could sacrifice a sorcery point to make that bonus action. 

Billy

There you go. Just for future reference. 

Ben

Well, let's thank you for informing me on that. Let's do the earth and grass first. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Uh, Earth. And he. He does not get out of the way. So what happens? 

Ben

Uh, he's going to get. I'll make sure I get this right. Uh, it's going to take two d6 bludgeoning damage on a saved Val. Girl found safe. So 2626 I have nine. 

Jimmy

Okay. So. Yeah. What what's what's what's happening with this giant earthen fist and this crab thing. 

Ben

Oh it was is it going to end up killing it? Okay, so you remember those little stress ball things where, like, they're sort of like, curvy shaped. And then when you squeeze the the ears and the eyes pop out. Oh, man. So, so we're going to be the same concept where like it squeezes him and then just it's a crushed, uh, shellfish. 

Jimmy

Okay, okay. 

Jon

Gnarly. You hear the. 

Billy

Crunch of its shell beneath the magical hand that reaches out. 

Ben

Send prestidigitation. Uh, fix the card all together. 

Jimmy

No, that would be like mending or something along repair. I mean, you have, like, between a couple of you. You guys got, like, repair skills and stuff, right? Like you. 

Ben

Got. I have a repair shop, my man. What? 

Jon

Yeah, like. 

Jimmy

You never specified what type of shop it was. My man. 

Ben

I said a repair shop. 

Jimmy

No, you said a tinkerer shop and tinkerer shop. 

Ben

Anything when tinkering be. Repairing? 

Jimmy

No. Not necessarily. 

Billy

Tinkering. I picture like a little old man with. Yeah, a guy with, like, watch parts and stuff. 

Ben

Okay. 

Billy

Uh, trying to make as the first robot or something like that. That's what I think of a tinkerer. 

Matt

Or fixing, like, um, mead cups that, like, should, like, refill. 

Ben

Hey, man. Uh, I don't want to waste a sorcery point on that, so. 

Billy

Yeah, I wouldn't do. 

Ben

Okay. Yeah. So, um. I guess that'll be my turn. There's no other ones. 

Jimmy

No. 

Ben

Well, if that ends combat, then can I approach one of the dead ones? 

Jimmy

You may. 

Ben

And, uh, can I, uh, start harvesting the crab meat? 

Jimmy

Uh, roll me a survival. 

Jon

Awesome. 

Ben

I figure if we're going to a place called butter butter Skull Manor. Whatever nature. What do you want? Nature. 

Jimmy

Which one. 

Jon

Do? 

Jimmy

Uh, no. Survival. Because that's still a skill to fucking be able to push. Your an animal in the field. 

Jon

I do an animal. 

Ben

I got an 11. 

Jon

Animal handling check on them to, uh, identify the creature more specifically. And. Susan. What? 

Jimmy

Yeah, with an 11. Then you're gonna you're gonna grab. Uh, like one other clause. 

Ben

Awesome. 

Jimmy

Big meaty claw for you. 

Ben

Big meaty claws. 

Jimmy

You gotta remember, they're large creatures, so that claw is bigger than you. Um. 

Ben

So, like. How much is that pony gonna be weighed down? 

Jimmy

Uh, I wish see, I wish he gave me some, like, monster weights to go off of. I don't know, I'm gonna I'm gonna say. We're going to say it's, I don't know, like a £20 claw. 

Ben

Okay. That's gonna have to be a custom item. 

Jimmy

Now, anybody else want to do anything? 

Jon

Yeah, I want to check out. Like, can I do an animal handling check to see more about the creatures? 

Jimmy

Um. 

Jon

In case we run into them in future. 

Jimmy

Um, so, like, as you get closer to it, like you. It looks like a like. Praying mantis type insect, but with, like a harder carapace. Carapace like a shellfish. And like, it's got, like, the claws have big spikes and like, rocks on them for digging. 

Jon

Um, um, like. 

Jimmy

I don't know, like, is there anything specific you're trying to, like, figure out a bottle. 

Jon

Weaknesses and how to track. 

Jimmy

Weaknesses? Um. None, I guess. 

Billy

Fucking hit it in the head hard. 

Jimmy

Like, uh, I mean, they're they're they're easier to crush from above, if that makes sense. 

Matt

Hammer. 

Jimmy

Like, they're less armored on top. Like, along their backs type of situation. Uh, um, and you can't really track them because they're, you know, they burrow. So. 

Jon

Fair enough. 

Jimmy

Onward. Okay, so do you guys try to move the cart with a pony and a boar or what? 

Ben

Can I take a rest and figure this out? 

Jimmy

You want to just camp up for the night, right? 

Jon

Yeah. Let's, uh, I would say we should rest till morning. 

Billy

All right. Hold on. I'm. I'm gonna go ahead and cast. Something. If I got it, I thought I had it. Oh, maybe I don't. So, Jimmy, explain to me real quick how does, uh, having spells ready in my spell book? How does that work? Because I know more spells than are in my spell book. You know what I mean? 

Jimmy

I'm sorry. What was that? 

Billy

So I, I know more spells than are currently in my spell book. Like, I can only have so many in my spell book at once. 

Jimmy

Yes. Um, I think you have to do it on a long rest. And I think it takes an hour per level of spell that you want to exchange. 

Billy

Okay. Got it. 

Jimmy

Um, so, like, if you were trying to do, you could only at max right now change out for level two spells because it's two hours per spell it takes to copy it back into your notebook. 

Billy

Well, I was trying to to have a spell, so what I was going to do is I was going to cast rope trick, and I was going to have us climb up to the top. So we had a safe place to rest for the night. But I don't have it prepared. So set camp, and, uh, the elf can watch while he doesn't, she. She doesn't sleep. 

Ben

He's not sleeping. The elf. 

Billy

The elf in my heart. 

Jon

Gotcha. 

Jimmy

I don't know. Well, I mean, yeah, don't you gotta recast that ritual eventually? 

Billy

No. 

Jimmy

No. What's the duration on it? 

Billy

Uh, until it dies or I tell it to go away. 

Jimmy

Oh, okay. 

Billy

I can put it in my pocket for a short amount of time, though. 

Jimmy

Sounds convenient. 

Billy

It is super convenient. 

Matt

I feel like you're you're doing something shifty, and we should know. 

Billy

Who? Me? 

Jon

I don't. 

Matt

Like. 

Jon

You. 

Matt

The both of you. 

Billy

No. I'm just find familiar. It's a spell you gave. 

Ben

The last paragraph is pretty cool, Bill. Of what? Of, uh, Frank Sinatra. 

Jon

Yeah. 

Billy

Finally, you cast a spell with a range touch. The familiar can deliver the spell as if it cast. The spell. You're familiar. Must be within 100ft of you, and it must use its reaction to deliver the spell when you cast it. It is pretty dope, but, uh, it's anyways it goes. You gain the service of a familiar. The spirit takes the form of an animal that you choose, gives you a list of animals. I chose the hawk appearing in an unoccupied space within range. Your familiar has the statistics of its chosen form. Uh, although it is a celestial fey or fiend, I chose celestial celestials. Don't, uh, sleep. You're familiar. Acts independently of you, but always obeys your command. Um. When the familiar drops to zero hit points, it disappears, leaving behind no physical form. It reappears after you cast the spell again as an action, you can temporarily dismiss the familiar to a pocket dimension alternative. Alternatively, you can dismiss it forever as an action while it is temporarily dismissed. You can cause it to reappear in an unoccupied space within 30ft of you. Whenever the familiar drops to zero, hit points, or disappears into the pocket dimension it leaves behind it's in its space. Anything it is wearing or carrying. It's got a little more, but yeah. 

Jon

There's a lot more. 

Ben

But yeah. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Billy

So yeah, there's a lot that goes to that spell. But basically he's just kind of like my pet that I could always call back after he dies and I could talk to him. 

Ben

And switch it up. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. 

Billy

Yeah, I can make him a fish if we end up going underwater. 

Ben

So we're doing a long rest. 

Jimmy

Yeah, you guys can do a long rest. Um. You make it through the night without incident. Okay, uh, roll me a perception when you wake up, though. 

Ben

Impressive or. 

Jimmy

Reception. What's on your skills? 

Billy

Um. 

Ben

Nat? 20. 

Jon

Nice. 

Billy

And 19. Plus four. 

Jimmy

How's the man? Completely enclosed in a hat. 

Billy

Still see everything? 

Jimmy

Um, that's, like, two feet off. 

Jon

Is like what? I got 11. Good. 

Jimmy

Um. So both water and dabble. Dabble? 

Billy

What about Lyra? 

Jon

Oh, perception. World perception. 

Ben

Hey. 

Jimmy

So. Yeah, both double double and bloater. You actually see? Three horses. Nearby where you guys made camp. Um. 

Billy

Do they have tack on them or are they wild horses? 

Jimmy

They appear they don't have any tack or saddles on them. Um, but you do see a brand on them that is, uh, I guess BGA at this point. 

Billy

I have a feeling those might be a big gay Al's. 

Matt

We're totally getting canceled. 

Billy

What? No, we're just using the character from South Park or a similar character. All characters are impersonated poorly. Uh, so can we. 

Ben

I guess I'll I'll go ahead. 

Billy

Yeah. Can we approach these things? 

Ben

I was going to talk to you first. 

Billy

Oh. What's up? Double? 

Matt

Are you good? Some good rest. 

Billy

I did double. How was your night? 

Matt

It was. It was good. I woke up and, you. 

Speaker G

Know, figured we could sparks, but. But I noticed those horses over there. How about you? 

Billy

I say we share this pipe first, and we figure out what to do about those horses. 

Speaker G

I like that idea a lot. 

Jon

Sparks. I don't see no horse. But I heard sparks. 

Matt

I come walking over to Knob gobbler and the Wizard with a cup of mead, and I just. 

Ben

As everybody. Or was it just me and Billy that were there? 

Jimmy

They just didn't see the horses and more so the horses. 

Billy

So as we're sharing this pipe and, uh, as Lyra and Bjorn join us. 

Jon

Excuse me. 

Billy

What would you guys like to do about these horses? They seem to be the property of big gay Al's. 

Speaker G

I think they would care if we borrowed them. 

Billy

Well, if we're going back to his property anyways. 

Jon

I mean. 

Speaker G

I say we we could use them if some of us work on the cart. Well, a few of us get the horses. We could be back on the road in a couple of hours. 

Billy

Anybody have a repair skills? 

Speaker G

I've got tinkering abilities, but, you know, not good enough for some kart. 

Jimmy

I didn't say that, sir. My character is good. Your shop was very under script when you called it a tinkering shop. Okay. 

Jon

Um, I've got the animal handling, so I'll handle the animals. 

Ben

So your voice. 

Jon

It is my voice. 

Ben

There we go. 

Billy

Yeah, my my tools are playing cards that. 

Speaker G

I guess I can work on the wagon wheel walla while you guys work on getting them horses. If you guys need any, uh. 

Jimmy

I mean, honestly, he put out the fire, so the carts really just kind of singed and. 

Ben

Oh, I thought they broke the. 

Jimmy

Cart. The more, the more important thing would probably be getting the tack off of your current horse corpses that are probably rather rank by now sitting eight hours. Half digested. 

Jon

Of course. Uh. 

Speaker G

So if Bjorn helps me with that. 

Billy

I'm just going to step off to the side with my pipe and continue to smoke and pull out my my playing cards and just start mumbling to myself as wizards do. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Matt

My character's just been silently working on the wagon. Jimmy saw. No need to talk. 

Ben

Actually, I will, uh, I'm going to cast prestidigitation and make a carrot. As my action. 

Jimmy

A carrot like you. 

Ben

Can create a non-magical trinket or an illusionary image that can fit in your hand and last until the end of your next turn. So I'm going to deceive the horses with carrot. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Ben

So I got a cat. 

Jimmy

Yeah, I'll allow it. 

Jon

I'll allow it. 

Jimmy

I want to see where this is going. 

Ben

No, I was going to see. You gotta stay in my hand. 

Jimmy

Not necessary. 

Ben

To specify. So I can give that to John. I'm not. 

Jon

Jimmy. 

Jimmy

I'm sorry. Are you. 

Ben

Talking? 

Jimmy

Yeah, I was so I. 

Ben

Could give the care to. I'm not. 

Jimmy

Uh. Yeah. I don't see why not. It'll last until your next turn. So. 

Ben

I'm going to go uptown now and, uh, hand him the carrot. This will help you with the horses. 

Speaker G

Maybe they like carrots. 

Jon

John. I go to the horses. 

Billy

John is so fucking stuck up when it comes to role playing. I go to the horses. Even Aragorn had personality. John. 

Jimmy

Roll, roll me. Yeah, okay. You did an animal handling. Um. So. Yeah. Did you. 

Ben

Already. What do you get? 

Jimmy

You got a 16? Oh, you already knew what I was going to ask for. 

Ben

She give an advantage because of the. 

Jimmy

I mean, I will, but he I mean, go ahead and yeah, I mean, if you want, you can roll with advantage because of the carrier. I was going to give you advantage on it. 

Billy

Whoa, whoa, we. 

Ben

Got music now. 

Billy

Whoa whoa whoa whoa. 

Jon

Yeah yeah. 

Billy

Someone did. 

Jimmy

Okay. So yeah, as you approach the horses, they actually, uh, they, they, they see the carrot in your hand and, um, come pretty much, you know, galloping up to you just not galloping, but trotting. They, they come trotting up to you. 

Matt

Tough crowd. Without a bonus. I would make you laugh. 

Billy

It can't be music, but. 

Jimmy

That's like walking into a church and saying, hail, Satan. You just. You just can't do it. 

Ben

You can't. Um. 

Jimmy

Try it in Texas. See how far you get. You still. 

Ben

Gotta. We still gotta get the horses off of the cart. 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah. Just, I don't know. Yeah. 

Ben

Hey, Bjorn, I'll take. 

Jimmy

You a little bit of time is all, you know? 

Jon

Yeah. 

Speaker G

You want to. You want to use them big, big barbarian muscles, and I'll get these horses off. No. 

Matt

But I will. 

Jon

Thank you. 

Matt

All right. Strength. Check. Strength. 

Jimmy

Uh, I'm actually probably going to say animal handling as well. I mean, it's they're dead. It's not animals. You know. 

Billy

Why would you even do any sort of test to fucking take off tack from a dead animal? It's a normal Monday. It's it's a normal, mundane project because they're looking. 

Ben

Like just rolling dice. 

Jimmy

To do that, like I said, it's it just takes time. So it just takes a little bit of time. Cool. You guys successfully. Uh, I don't know. I mean, if you want to drag the carcasses off the road, that's a strength check. But, like, if you're just. Yeah. 

Ben

On the horses. 

Jon

What? 

Jimmy

Yeah. Loud enough. Roll for it. 

Ben

Oh, God. What do you want? Survival again. 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Ben

Six. 

Jimmy

Okay. As you go to cut into the horse, the stomach explodes all over you. Give me a con save. Oh it's. 

Ben

Whack. Saving throws. Con. I got ton. 

Jimmy

You. You start throwing up. 

Ben

Okay. Cool. 

Speaker G

Well, you guys ready to go? 

Billy

Did we get the horses? 

Jimmy

I had yeah, John's got the horses. You guys can you can you can tack them up. They're not not resisting or anything. They're friendly at this point. They were obviously spooked by something before. But you know the carrot and animal handling pets and stuff, I'm guessing you know. 

Ben

With my net 20. Could I determine what they were spooked by? 

Jimmy

No. 

Ben

Okay. And these horses are just. 

Jimmy

They're just. You just. 

Ben

Know territory. 

Jimmy

You you just know at this point, they're actually a decent ways away from home, so. 

Ben

Like, can I inspect the animal? 

Jimmy

But yeah, if you want it. 

Ben

I don't know if it would tell us anything. 

Jimmy

They're like perfectly fine. Like, as far as you can. I mean, unless you want to roll, you know nature and know exactly the anatomy of the horsey. 

Ben

Yeah. 16. 

Jimmy

Yeah. I mean, they they look to seem to be in good physical shape. Yeah. There's three horses, you know, so you got two hooked up to the cart and I guess there's one extra. And. Yeah. 

Ben

Okay, cool. 

Billy

I'll hop on the extra and go bareback. You need me to fucking roll for it? 

Jimmy

No. That's fine. Okay. 

Jon

All right. 

Ben

Onward. 

Speaker G

Onward. 

Jimmy

So, um, you guys, you guys are like, you know, an hour's ride out of, uh, Canterbury. Um, so as you arrive in Canterbury, you you guys were at this town a little bit earlier in the campaign, uh, when you were doing the shrine. Uh, you see, it's it's like. It's like a ghost town compared to what it was. I mean, it was always a small village, but, like, you don't see anybody about doing daily business. Um, and, yeah, it's just eerily quiet for the small little working village you saw earlier. Um. 

Matt

I head to the tavern to see if there's anybody there to ask what's going on? 

Jimmy

Um, Lindsay, thanks for the 99 stars. Sparks time. Sure. 

Billy

Jimmy's been all about them sparks tonight. 

Jon

Sparks? 

Jimmy

Absolutely. Move the D&D book to hit the the light em up button and everything. Um, so. Yeah, Cannonbury is just eerily quiet. You stopped in the tavern. There is no tavern. So you just went to, like, the house that you guys were able to stay in last time? Um, nobody answers the door. But it is locked. Or Bard. I don't know. 

Ben

What time of day is this? 

Jimmy

Oh, it's like noon. Noon? Yeah, somewhere in there. 11:00. Let's call it 11:00. 

Ben

There's no guards on the street either. 

Jimmy

No. Like, it's a small village. They didn't have any guards to begin with. 

Matt

Like, are there any signs of. 

Jimmy

Like, a logging village, basically. What? 

Matt

Are there any signs of turmoil or distress? Like shit knocked over, shit lit on fire, you know, like they got attacked or something. 

Ben

Um, words on windows. 

Jimmy

It doesn't look like it. It looks like maybe. Maybe they're just expecting some trouble. Like nothing's been ransacked yet. It's just like they caught wind of something. Um, maybe. Coming. 

Speaker G

Um, I say we get these resources to to the butter butter school as soon as we can. 

Jimmy

Uh. 

Speaker G

We gotta come through anyways. We can figure it out later. 

Jimmy

Wrong wrong wrong. Um. Conquest. Conquest? 

Ben

I thought we did. Butter the butter skull. 

Jimmy

Yes. You're on butter skull. But it's not. It's not. It's not the supply run. The supply run is the one where you had to go into the woods. Oh, we're. 

Ben

Going to fight orcs. 

Jimmy

Yes. Correct? Correct. Yes. Oh, or you know something? Bandits or something? It's something. So. But you know, the ranch has been attacked, basically, so. Yeah. Um. Yeah. Uh, so you guys just carry on, I take it. Yay! Yay! Are you really want to, like, knock on another door or, like. 

Jon

Okay. Moving on. 

Jimmy

Um. 

Ben

I don't want to talk to me. 

Speaker G

I want to talk to them. 

Jimmy

So. You hear a cowbell in the distance as you are getting closer to the ranch. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

We continue to approach the ranch. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. 

Ben

Could we see the cow or we just heard it? 

Jimmy

You just heard it. 

Billy

Can my hawk see it? 

Jimmy

Uh, roll perception, I guess on that one. 

Ben

All of. 

Jimmy

Us are. I always forget about your hawk. I'm sorry, Bill, you're okay. I know he's like. I know he's got slightly higher passes, but. 

Billy

Yeah, let me just. I should have hadn't pulled up. That's my fault. 

Jon

Two seconds. 

Billy

Uh. And perception. Um. And it's going to be a 21. 

Jon

He has a plus four. 

Jimmy

So yes. Your, um your hawk does see the cow. He's. Um, often a cornfield, um, on the side of the trail as you as you're, you know, coming up on the the ranch here. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

Anything seem wrong with them or just a normal cow? 

Jimmy

Uh, looks like a normal cow. Uh, he does notice he's got the BGA brand as well. Um. Yeah. 

Billy

Onwards. 

Jon

Reg. 

Jimmy

Okay. So. Um, actually, I gotta Google that real quick for you guys and send you the link for the player friendly map. If I can find one real quick because I totally forgot about that myself. Uh. Okay. Um. Oh, shit, I forgot I gotta do that too. 

Jon

Uh. Paste. There we go. Okay. 

Jimmy

Now we can pull this back this way. 

Jon

Okay. 

Jimmy

So. 

Jon

You guys are just from the. 

Jimmy

Do you guys got the map yet? 

Ben

You just. Yeah. Got it. 

Jon

Okay. 

Jimmy

So you're coming from the south part of the map there? Uh, on the tribal trail. 

Ben

And the scale on the left is one square is 50ft. 

Jon

One square is five feet. Wait. 

Jimmy

Yeah. That's that's that's so. Yeah. That's why like that's a scaling error on dad dad's part when they printed it basically. Um. 

Ben

So there's our scale going to. 

Jimmy

Be it should be 50ft probably. 

Jon

Yeah. 

Billy

Seems right. 

Jimmy

Um, and the cow was. If you guys now are looking on the map, it's like way down here in the bottom left corner of that one cornfield. 

Billy

And we're coming up on the trail. 

Jon

Yep. Okay. 

Jimmy

Um. 

Billy

I'm going to send my horse into a gallop, and I'm going to get to the farmhouse. 

Jon

Okay. 

Jimmy

Okay. So as you're approaching the house, you notice that there is a burned down barn and a destroyed smithy. On your left, as you're approaching, if you're taking the trail right to the house there. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

Kind of where the gardens are. 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Billy

Oh, no, I see it. Yeah. Destroyed barn. Destroyed. Smithy. 

Ben

Uh, is he's, um, galloping there. Can I do a perception check on the fences around the fields and stuff, see if I figure out where the cows got out. 

Jimmy

Oh, I mean, you can. 

Ben

Hear the horses. 

Jimmy

You can see there's. I mean, the destroyed barns. 

Ben

There's those gaps. 

Jimmy

The the you're. 

Ben

Just. 

Jimmy

You're just assuming you they escaped the barn that you know. 

Ben

Okay. Got it is burned down. 

Jimmy

So maybe smoldering a little bit even. 

Ben

Did we know a population on this farmhouse? 

Jon

Um, no. 

Billy

All we know is what the paper told us. 

Ben

Okay. I didn't. 

Jon

Remember where. 

Billy

We were going to help Big Gail. 

Jon

Yes. 

Jimmy

Because his his farm has been attacked by orcs. Um, as you guys are approaching the farmhouse, you don't see any orcs in the fields or the pastures. Um. This? Yeah. 

Billy

Okay, so we approach. 

Ben

Any evidence of activity in the farmhouse. 

Jimmy

Roll me a perception. 

Ben

Eight. 

Jon

Eight with. 

Jimmy

An eight. You, um. Can't really tell. The curtains are drawn. 

Ben

Okay. Can I cast prestidigitation to, uh, start a fire in their fireplace, see if there's any silhouettes from it? 

Jimmy

Can you see their fireplace? 

Ben

Uh, do I need to see it? 

Jon

You just say globally? 

Billy

Yeah. With prestidigitation, you do. Uh, and he just said the curtains were drawn. 

Jimmy

Now, you could use prestidigitation, maybe to open the curtains. That's where I thought you were going with it. 

Ben

Oh, I mean, if I can do that. I was getting a little too creative, I guess. 

Matt

In the meantime, I'm writing up to the main house. 

Jimmy

I mean, that's kind of where. 

Ben

That's where we're at. 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Jon

Yeah. 

Ben

So, yeah, I'm going to cast on the curtains. 

Jimmy

Okay, so the curtains slide open and, um. Role. Where. Yeah. As curtains are as slide open. You see a figure in the window. 

Jon

Um, so anyways. 

Billy

They just started blasting. 

Ben

Um, no. But can I, uh, use my true state cantrip? 

Jimmy

For what? 

Ben

Uh, that's a camera. If you point a finger at a target and range your magic ranch, you brief insight into the target's defenses and his, uh, I get an advantage on a first attack roll, provided that the spell has not ended. 

Jimmy

Okay, so how close are you to. So how currently? How close are you to the farmhouse? Do you guys think you are, or do you want to be? 

Ben

I say a square and a half square. 

Jimmy

Let's say a square and a half would be 75ft. 

Ben

Yeah, square. About a square. 

Jimmy

Okay, so. 

Billy

I'm just chilling in the driveway. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um, you can. 

Ben

Zoom this more. Yeah. So sort of like by that split that leads to the outhouse. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um, so, yeah, you just you just see a figure in the window. You can't make out if it's, you know, it's humanoid, but you don't know if it's Big Al or an orc or what. 

Ben

Oh, no, I just. I didn't think it would tell me that. I just figured it would tell me, uh, an insight into the defense. 

Jimmy

Uh. Hold on, stat block, stat block. Where's that stat block? 

Matt

Can I walk up and just pound on the door? 

Jimmy

Um. You can. 

Ben

Yeah, while I'm doing it. Yeah. All right. 

Matt

Bang bang bang bang bang. Blue Jay Guild sent us. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. So, defensive wise, you're looking at hide. 

Ben

Okay, um. 

Billy

Oh, my God, this is the guy we're supposed to help. 

Speaker G

So I've seen a lot of wild shit. 

Jimmy

Daddy, how do you knock on the door? You hear a word from inside and stopping coming towards the door. 

Matt

Can I roll a strength check and kick the door open? 

Jon

You may. I don't even know if we want to kick the door open. 

Matt

Well, somebody has to move this along. 

Billy

I don't think that's the way to do it. 

Matt

I rolled a seven, so it didn't work. 

Ben

Uh, that sounds that sounds. 

Billy

Like something a dwarf would do was kick a fucking door like he was trying to open it and get fucking stunned. 

Ben

But if Casper bardic inspiration is a bonus action, you have an extra day. 

Billy

Okay. Why are you guys trying to break down the guys door? That we're trying to go help? The guild sent us the guy who's coming to the door? 

Ben

I'm not trying to break down. I'm just getting insight. 

Jon

It's like you. 

Billy

Guys are killing me. 

Ben

I didn't leave the violence. 

Jon

Jimmy. 

Speaker G

Um, floater. You want to go talk to the guy? 

Jimmy

So, uh, the door opens and you're confronted with an orc with an axe. 

Billy

Now, now you fight. 

Jon

Who's. 

Speaker G

Who's the crazy one now? 

Billy

Now you fight. 

Matt

Since it entered my, uh, battlespace, can I have an attack of opportunity? 

Jimmy

No, it's when it's leaving. Maddie. 

Matt

Pitter patter. 

Billy

Same thing. 

Matt

Leaving? Entering. It's a matter of no, because you. 

Jimmy

Just failed to kick in a door. If you had kicked in the door, yes, you would have got a surprise attack on him. But no, you failed to kick door kick. So. No, you got surprised. 

Matt

Well, he opened the door. So then when? Surprise bitch, here's a hammer. 

Jimmy

Now, had. 

Ben

You. 

Jimmy

Had you knocked on the door and said you readied your action to swing at the first motherfucker to open the door, then yes, you could have done that. 

Billy

That's what it is. Ben read the book, and he's metagaming right now. 

Ben

I'm just metagaming. 

Billy

Uh huh. Now I get it. 

Ben

I'm doing what? Who's what? 

Jon

Yeah. 

Ben

I'm looking at all my shit. 

Jimmy

Um, everybody gave me initiative roles. Sorry, I'm on the wrong page now on this tab. 

Matt

17. 

Jon

Hey. Uh, watch and see. Oof! Oh, damn! Ouchy! 

Billy

Sorry. 

Jon

Now. 

Jimmy

That's okay. They didn't do much better. 

Jon

They. Oh, beautiful. 

Jimmy

Not necessarily plural. 

Jon

Oh, no. I heard you roll at least 3 or 4 dice. No, I. 

Jimmy

Accidentally I was emptying my dice container out, and then I, uh. Yeah, dropped my d20 instead of rolling it. 

Jon

Sure. That's all right. Orcs are my favored prey. 

Jimmy

That's probably a good choice. Okay, so it's Amnon, then. Lyra. Uh. Then, Bjorn. They. And. 

Ben

Whoa! Where am I in that? 

Jimmy

I said that, didn't I? I didn't hear you bleed up. 

Ben

At 14, though. 

Jimmy

I missed that bleed up. You're in there. You're in there. Doubly double di. 

Jon

Double. 

Billy

Di. 

Jimmy

Double di. 

Ben

Double. 

Jon

Di double DB. 

Jimmy

It is DB, isn't it? 

Billy

DB Cooper. Wait, is double bubble your first name or is that your. That's my. 

Ben

Second name. That's my last name. 

Billy

That's your last name. What's your first name? Yeah. 

Ben

Definition. I'm like African. 

Jimmy

Oh, yeah, I forgot. 

Jon

Double D's. 

Ben

But it's spelled d a p h r I q a y n. 

Jimmy

Staff for Kwanzaa. 

Ben

Sophisticated. Sophisticated. 

Jimmy

Dolph. Dolph. Dolph. Dolph. Call him Dolphy. You daffy bastard. Um, it is Amado first, so. Yeah. 

Jon

The good ol axe and sword combo. 

Jimmy

Okay, so you want to dash to the house then? 

Jon

I'm not even gonna dash, bro. I'm going to cast. Jump. 

Jimmy

Oh, man. Okay. Do you know your jump is normally. 

Jon

Uh. No idea. 

Speaker H

In an acrobatics check. 

Jon

But it's trip. Whatever it is, it's tripled until the spell ends. First jump. Yep. 

Jimmy

You know, I'm actually kind of surprised that's not right here on this. 

Jon

Um, on the app. 

Jimmy

No. Like the. 

Billy

Screen. 

Jimmy

On the DM screen. Yeah. Jumping. Oh, yeah. Here it is. You going for a long jump or a high jump, sir? 

Jon

John. Well, can I assume that there's a some sort? Is there some sort of roof over this doorway or. No. 

Billy

Oh, God. Now we're playing Fortnite. 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Jon

Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm not trying to jump into a roof. I want to jump at the fucking orc. I'm jumping at the orc. 

Ben

Long, long jumping into it. Sword first. 

Jimmy

Okay. So. 30ft and then jump I would say for your movement. So. Role. Number of feet up to your strength. Score. So what's your strength score? 

Jon

15. 

Jimmy

So you can jump 45ft, sir. So yes you can. With a running start, you can jump 45ft because you could jump. You could jump. You're up to your strength. Score in feet is how it works with a long jump. 

Jon

Gotcha. 

Jimmy

So tripling it with jump is 45ft. Yeah. So yeah, you can make it. You can definitely make it with that amount of movement. Good. So your action is to jump. So bonus action I guess would be left. 

Jon

The two weapon fighting. Okay, go with the X. Again. At least one hit on that motherfucker. Where is it? I gotta be here, man. 

Jimmy

He actually got a pack of fresh one. Other. Other. Matty. Yeah, I forgot there's two Matty. Now. Uh. Um. 

Billy

Oh, sorry, Maddie. I didn't even see you came through on my stream. Dude. More cowbell. 

Ben

Why did you roll for. 

Jon

Got an 18 to hit. 

Jimmy

So, yeah, you're gonna, um, come jumping in right over the the dwarf and, uh, land a good solid ax into the shoulder of the orc. 

Jon

Um, eight points of damage. 

Jimmy

All right, just give me one second, because I got a pack of fresh bull, and, um, I will start calculating these orc damages. 

Jon

You're gonna have to, because I'm gonna be fucking on y'all. Y'all think y'all y'all wait. 

Jimmy

Don't you get bonuses for attacking orcs, too? Like, how's that work? Because there it. 

Jon

Is. 

Jimmy

Fill me in while I'm packing my bowl. Fill. Fill the dead air, please. Okay. Yeah. 

Jon

Favorite enemy you have advantage on? Survival checks to track your favorite enemy, as well as initiative checks to recall information about them. Also, learn one language of your choice that is spoken by your favorite enemy. If they speak one at all and then it says. It goes on to say, um, monstrosities are the strictest monsters in the strictest sense, fighting frightening creatures that are all not ordinary, not truly natural, and almost never benign. And orc is what I have listed. Because that's what I chose. Okay. 

Jimmy

All righty. So yeah, you just remember your bonuses against them. 

Jon

Because yeah, it's it's initiative checks and survival checks. 

Jimmy

Well yeah your initiative checks. So like you could have I mean you roll the highest anyways. But I'm just saying like could it came in handy when I. 

Jon

Well, it says initiative checks to recall information about them. 

Jimmy

Is that intelligence checks, you mean? Oh, is it IMT? Yeah. 

Jon

It's IMT. 

Jimmy

Okay. Yeah. I was like, huh? 

Jon

Okay. Yeah, that makes more sense. Okay. Makes a lot more sense. 

Jimmy

Okay, okay. We're on the same page now. 

Jon

Okay. So survival intelligence checks. 

Jimmy

How many members of the party do we have? One. Two. Three. Four. Five. 

Billy

You know, I was just kind of hidden tonight. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Jon

Sorry. 

Jimmy

You're fine. 

Jon

Yeah. Okay. 

Billy

Sometimes I don't feel camera ready either. 

Jimmy

Yeah. With that blow to that, that or John, you're actually going to stagger them a little bit as well? 

Jon

Yes. Good. Coward, fear or bitch. 

Speaker I

There he goes, laughing at his own jokes again? Yes. 

Billy

Someone's got to, um. 

Jimmy

And now Lyra. 

Jon

Character. 

Jimmy

It it is your turn. 

Jon

It's your turn. 

Speaker J

I don't even know what's going on. I don't think I can, I don't know. 

Billy

Why was passed out in the back of the stagecoach? Oh, no. What do we do? 

Jon

Protect her at all costs. All right. 

Billy

That we can do fire. Are you done for the night? 

Speaker J

Yeah, but. 

Speaker I

I'll still hang out to. 

Speaker J

Listen much as I can. 

Billy

That is no problem. 

Speaker J

Thank you. 

Jimmy

All right, well, hopefully you feel better. Are on a week, right, Lydia? In a week? 

Jon

Yeah. 

Jimmy

Uh. 

Ben

So, Bjorn. 

Jimmy

There we go. That's what I wanted. 

Jon

Yo! 

Jimmy

Uh, yes, you are correct. It would be very hard. 

Matt

Uh, since Jon's character is in my way, I just, uh, I equip my shield and try to step forward because I can't swing, since Jon is, you know, being a good wall. 

Jon

Are you keeping count doors? 

Matt

I just look at you. So is there a way to, like, get in around John and do something, or is that taking my turn? 

Jimmy

Um. I'm trying to figure this out. I'm trying to figure out where the doorway technically is on the map here. Oh, down to cellar. It says. 

Ben

Ground level. 

Jimmy

Ground level. Well. To these three. Maybe is the door or. No, that would be. 

Ben

Would it be B1? Yeah. B1 in that room, up the stairways, up to the door. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Either that or. 

Ben

P4 would be the huh so. 

Jimmy

Or B2. Onto the porch. From the porch it looks like there's a porch section and the top right corner. 

Ben

Oh, so B1 is the back door. 

Jimmy

No, it'd probably be the front door. And the porch is kind of. I don't fucking know, actually. Yeah. No, I have I have no idea. It's a weird ass style house, you know? So hard to say. Hard to say. 

Matt

All right. Let me ask a better question. Where is John's character standing in proportion to me trying to take a swing at the orc? Is John going to get smacked or can I smack the shit out of the orc? For perspective, since Johnny did his little Star Wars move. 

Jimmy

I mean, I said. He staggered him a little bit, so I guess John's probably in the square inside of the doorway, so you could probably push around him if you needed to. 

Matt

All right, I'm pushed around, John. I'm taking a swing at the orc's knee with my warhammer. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Matt

That is a 21 to hit. 

Jon

All righty. 

Matt

That's an eight for damage. 

Jimmy

Yeah. You're gonna, um, take his legs right out from under him, and he's gonna smash his head on the counter dying. 

Jon

Hey, Maddie. Um, good job on you. 

Jimmy

As you guys are entering. I don't know, we'll call it. I don't I don't see a fireplace anywhere in here, so we'll call that the kitchen. We'll call this one the kitchen. 

Ben

Fireplaces. Uh, or wait in B1. 

Jimmy

Obi-Wan, is. 

Ben

B1. 

Jimmy

Okay? 

Ben

Be one of them. B5. 

Jimmy

So. Yeah. Um, you see, it's the kitchen. Yeah. Because he smacked his head on the counter. And you see, there are two other orcs, um, approaching you. Well, we're approaching you, but because of combat rules, they can't move right now, you know. 

Matt

Can I take a bow in. 

Jimmy

This room with you? There are two other works. What can I. 

Matt

Can I take a bonus action? 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah. 

Matt

All right. I'm going to go into my frenzied rage. 

Ben

Okay. Frenzy. Attack or rage? 

Matt

No frenzied rage. I'm using my barbarian ability. 

Jimmy

That's it. That's all you can do? Oh, yeah, because you can't attack on the same turn, right? 

Jon

I don't think so. 

Jimmy

No. 

Matt

It doesn't say that I can. 

Jimmy

Okay. Sorry. Um, then it is double bubble. 

Ben

So I'm gonna. Because I can see there's a second floor, right? 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Ben

Wait, so I'm gonna. I'm going to cast spider climb on myself, which until the spell ends, one willing creature I touch. Okay, I'm just letting people know that don't know they're listening. Fair enough. But I get I get to crawl on walls and ceilings and stuff. So I'm gonna cast that and then crawl up the side of the house to a window to see what's going on upstairs. 

Billy

Yo, could you imagine just seeing a wizard hat fucking. 

Jimmy

Up. 

Billy

A wall? 

Jimmy

Tell me a window you want to look in and on the map. Yeah. And rolling a perception. 

Ben

Let's go with the eight. 

Jimmy

Be a okay. So looking into b8, uh, perception. 

Jon

Let's do it. 

Ben

Oh six. 

Jimmy

Okay. Yeah, you can see it's a, uh, it's an office with, uh, papers and, uh, books and ledgers just all kind of, like, scattered. It looks like it's been kind of tossed already. 

Ben

Okay. 

Jimmy

And there's there's no orcs in it. 

Ben

Can I go in there? 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah. I don't see why not. 

Ben

Awesome. Yeah, I'm going to go in the room, so. But I think that'll pretty much end my movement. 

Jimmy

Yeah, probably. 

Ben

Um, bonus actions I want to take real quick. No. I'm good. That'll be my turn. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. Okay. Um. It is the orcs turn. They are going to advance on Bjorn and. Uh. I'm not. Why? Why I couldn't remember your name for a second, I don't know. The one that swings at Bjorn is going to miss. And the one that is swinging at, uh. I'm not again, Jesus Christ. Amnesia. How about that? Um. Yeah. They both missed. Uh, it is blauser's turn. 

Billy

Okay. Uh, I am going to cast. Uh, mage armor on myself. And then I am going to, as a bonus, action! Blow up. I'm sorry. Blow a puff of smoke from my pipe in the shape of a lion. And I am going to do. You blow. You blow smoke into the majestic form of a medium lion coming to rest in an unoccupied space within 30ft of you. The lion doesn't occupy its space. Each creature you choose within ten feet of the lion can add one d4 to their attack rolls, saving throws. And I'm sorry. And saving throws until the start of their next turn when the lion disappears. Uh, and I am going to have that effect. Bjorn and Amnon. 

Jon

Okay, so. 

Billy

Yeah, they get an additional D4 damage. 

Jon

Awesome. Fucking sweet. 

Billy

Uh, and just so you know, Jim, I get to use that, uh, once per proficiency bonus. So I get to use it twice per long rest. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Billy

For now. So hopefully I get more proficiency because I do grow proficiency bonus. When did you. 

Ben

Cast? 

Jon

You do? Yeah. It takes a couple levels to get it. But yeah, you do eventually earn proficiencies. 

Billy

It's a it's my subclass, Ben. 

Ben

Oh, okay. 

Jimmy

Um. 

Jon

How was it for at last. 

Jimmy

Until the start. 

Billy

Of my next turn? Yeah. So, through your turn. 

Jon

Sweet. 

Jimmy

Um, it's going to be wrapping back around, um, to Amnon. 

Jon

Beautiful. 

Billy

Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to roll it. 

Jon

I'm going to swing at the orc that is closest to me. 24. 

Jimmy

Yeah. That's, uh, definitely hitting. 

Jon

Three. Plus. What was it, a d4? Yep. That's another four. So seven plus four, 11 damage total. 

Jimmy

Yeah. I'm going to say you solidly stab this guy right in the chest, not in the heart. So he's still alive, but, uh, you definitely punctured a lung. 

Jon

Okay. Bonus action coming in with that hand axe. 

Jimmy

All right. 

Jon

Going for the neck. Oh 23. 

Jimmy

Just quick and clean, nice and efficient. That had roles. You didn't even have to roll damage on it. Um. 

Jon

Yes. Yeah. 

Jimmy

That is another orc. 

Jon

Uh. Bring me more. 

Jimmy

Um. It is Bjorn's turn again. 

Ben

Don't forget your hunter spray, bro. 

Jimmy

Hunter's mark. 

Ben

Yeah. No, I'm not Hunter's prey. 

Jimmy

Yeah, I mean, it doesn't look like he's needed it so far. 

Ben

Uh, yeah. 

Jon

No, it's only if it gets away. Did I get to worry about that? Try not to let that happen. 

Matt

All right, so I am frenzying and bull rushing the, um, orc in front of me. That took a swing at me. And I am taking my first swing. 22. 

Jon

Nice. 

Matt

Um. Seven plus a d4. Nine damage for that swing. Uh, being in a frenzy, I can use a bonus action to take a follow up swing. 

Jon

Okay. 

Matt

That's that is a seven. So that's probably a miss. 

Jimmy

Yeah, just a trick. Um, so, yeah, with your first hit, you you. I say, we'll say you knock them off balance. So that way, when you come in with your follow up, he's kind of like, still stumbling back a little bit. 

Jon

Um, and you did add the. 

Billy

D4 to that. Okay. 

Speaker K

Uh. And. 

Jimmy

Yeah. So clear. Took the hit. He's not. You know. He's not. Like super, super dead. But he he he felt that one very, very well. 

Jon

Um, is he not feeling good? 

Jimmy

It's Warhammer, I don't know, like he broke a few ribs, you know, like he's not. 

Jon

Feeling too good. 

Jimmy

No, he's I mean, yeah, I he's he's like he's he's. Yeah. He's yellow. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Well the health bar it. Yeah. Give him a yellow health bar. Why not. Um, and it is going to be double Bibles. Turn. 

Ben

Uh, so I'm gonna open the door to the hallway. And, uh, pure. Can I peer down the hallway, see if, like, the coast is clear or whatever role. 

Jimmy

Uh, you're trying to be sneaky, I'm guessing. 

Ben

Uh, I guess I should be. Let me roll for stealth first. 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Ben

We got a 13. 

Jimmy

Um, yeah. So as you crack the door, um, you know that car meme with the Umbrella Academy people, even though you didn't watch the show? Or they're, like, looking at each other in the car? 

Ben

Uh, no. But sure. 

Jon

Oh, God. Did you even find it and send it to the group? 

Jimmy

I should, I should, but anyways. As you open it and you peek out the door like. You look up because something's also peeking at the door, and it's looking down at you, and you're looking up at it and it's looking down at you. 

Ben

Interesting. Did he notice me, though? 

Jimmy

Yes. 

Speaker L

And you look at me and he. 

Ben

Doesn't think I'm just a hat. Yes, I do get the meme now. I do know the meme. Um, I'm going to reach out and grab it and use my shocking grasp. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. 

Ben

So I gotta grab it, I think. 

Jimmy

Yeah. What is it? Touch. 

Ben

That's an 11 to hit. 

Matt

You gotta be more descriptive and be like. I'm reaching out and grabbing his balls with shocking grabs. 

Billy

That's about all he can reach anyways. 

Ben

And you did give me an inspiration point last campaign, but we only played for an hour. Can I use that. 

Jimmy

If you want? Yes. 

Billy

Oh, we played for two hours last match. 

Ben

It was nine. 

Jimmy

Hours over two. It's. 

Billy

It was actually like two and a half. We just didn't get anything done. 

Jimmy

I don't I don't give him that out that often. So, you know I, I allow you guys to keep them. 

Ben

Oh yeah. We're going to take the 12. 

Jimmy

Uh. 

Billy

Hey, you guys, see you. 

Jimmy

Um, you reach out with your shocking grass, and it's going to be like the height armor on on the orc is going to be too thick for your shock to penetrate. 

Ben

Interesting. So I'm gonna crawl on. Can I crawl under him and then crawl up the wall under the ceiling? 

Jimmy

Um. Probably not. 

Ben

Or go out the back. Out the window. 

Jimmy

I mean, you're gonna get an attack. An opportunity. 

Billy

Was enough. 

Jimmy

Now. Well. 

Ben

My shocking grasp is in action. 

Jimmy

I understand. Oh. 

Ben

Against me? Yes. Also, he'll get that. 

Jimmy

If you leave his range. Yes, because he is aware of you. And you just tickled. 

Jon

Him, huh? 

Ben

Well that sucks. Um, yeah. I'm gonna I'm gonna let him get that attack of opportunity. 

Jimmy

All right. Um, as you may, when I go out. 

Ben

When I go out the window. Sorry. Go ahead. You do yours first. 

Jimmy

Uh, when you when you are leaving his area of attack, he is going to bring down his axe at you, and it's going to fall, like, right behind you. 

Ben

Okay? 

Jimmy

Just narrowly missing you. 

Ben

As I go out the window, I'm gonna make it look like I'm going down, but I'm going to crawl around the window and then be up right above it. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Jon

Surprise! 

Ben

Exactly. 

Jimmy

Um. All right. It is their turn. So the one, the one in, um, the kitchen is going to bring down a, uh, his axe at Matty. Um, it's going to just, like, glance right off your armor, just. No problem. It's got to be dull or something. Um, that's going to be his turn. And then the one. By Ben is going to actually. 

Ben

Uh. 

Billy

Crazy cat. 

Ben

The one by me, you said. 

Jimmy

Yeah, he's going to go and he's going to look out the window. Um, and he's going to look down and he's not going to see you. And then I'm guessing you can roll an attack of opportunity. Can I? 

Ben

Yeah. Yes. 

Jimmy

To go back. And, uh. 

Ben

Is he leaning out the window? 

Jimmy

Yes. He's looking down the window and before he leaves here. So, like. Yeah, a. 

Ben

Downward force would have him fall out the window. 

Jimmy

Possibly. 

Ben

We're going to cast Thunder Wave at level one. So a 15 foot cube will pop out for me, and, uh, it pushes anything not secured. 

Jimmy

Yeah, I understand, I understand how that works. 

Ben

I want to, uh. No, you got to throw a saving throw of 13 Constitution. 

Jimmy

I know, that's why I just said roll the damage for it, though. Oh, well. 

Ben

Okay. Okay. 

Billy

Listeners might not know. 

Ben

Thank you. Let's say all these things are messing me up. 

Jimmy

And what was the DC? 

Ben

Oh the the the the what? The save. 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Ben

13. 

Jimmy

13. Um. Yeah. So. He is going to get caught unawares. Um, you were going to do two points of damage with the thunder wave. Uh, I forget, how do I do? Falling. 

Jon

And he's going to fall 30ft to his death. 

Jimmy

I mean, it's not 30ft, but I gotta figure out 60ft. 

Jon

Falling. 

Jimmy

Falling. Google falling real quick, I guess. Gotta figure out where my freaking screens are. 

Matt

My character takes one d6 bludgeoning damage for every ten feet. They fall up to a maximum of 26. 

Jimmy

For every ten feet. 

Matt

Yes. 

Jimmy

One d6 for every ten feet. 

Jon

Yes. Two d6. 

Jimmy

So, yeah. Um, he's going to follow, like, directly on his face and he's not dead. 

Jon

He's paralyzed. 

Jimmy

But he's not feeling good, man. 

Jon

He's paralyzed. 

Jimmy

He didn't. He didn't. You know, you just see a little bit of blood pooling, you know? But like. He's still got some muscle movements to him. 

Ben

The post mortem jitters. 

Jon

Uh, no, I'm more like the pre-mortem jitters. 

Jimmy

You see the pool of blood bubbling in, like. Yeah, you know, the sideways, like, just. Yeah, wall of blood. But, yeah. 

Ben

I felt like a real airbender for a minute there, boys. 

Jimmy

Got a very, very good concussion. 

Ben

Sweet. So that was his turn. 

Jimmy

Uh, yes. So it is, uh, back to blotter. I'm trying to figure out where I'm going with this again. Yeah. This. This. 

Billy

Okay. Um, so I'm still outside. And, uh. Yeah. I'm going to stay with Lyra and protect her. I think these guys got it pretty much handled on the inside. Shout if you need me. 

Jon

Throw me. 

Speaker G

A party. Smile. 

Billy

I can do that as a bonus action. But only twice. Well, I am awake. Do you really need it right now? 

Speaker G

No, no. I'm good. 

Billy

Okay. You see. 

Speaker G

That though? That's pretty epic. What I did though, right? 

Billy

That was dope. 

Jon

Super. 

Billy

That was pretty dope. But not I mean, I was outside. Yeah, I would have seen it. 

Jon

Yeah. 

Jimmy

Bad perception. 

Ben

I give you a perception. 

Jimmy

Yeah. And 18. I'm not in, Bjarne. Give me a perception as well. So yeah, with an 18 you hear shuffling in the not not the window that you just banged, but, um, the one. 

Ben

Next to it. Yeah. P7. 

Matt

Yeah. Net net 20 plus four. 

Jon

Nice. Maddie. Because I only got a nine. 

Jimmy

So Maddie, you're going to hear boots going upstairs. Sounds like three sets. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

So, Jimmy, can I by chance use this time to learn a new spell? 

Jimmy

No. 

Jon

Okay. 

Ben

Then. 

Jimmy

Because you guys got five minutes, tops. 

Ben

You guys got. 

Jon

This. 

Jimmy

So, um. 

Ben

So now I'm done. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Back to Amnon, then. If Billy's holding his turnout. 

Jon

No no no no no, man. 

Ben

All right. Nah nah nah nah nah. 

Billy

I'm going to hold all my turns, come in and use them all at once. Be a grand wizard. 

Jon

Be Grand wizard, be an avatar. Just blast all the elements all at once. 

Billy

Fireball. Fireball. Fireball. Fireball. Fireball. 

Jon

Um, there's still one orc in the room, right? 

Jimmy

Yes. 

Jon

Okay. They turned to him with a crazy look in my face. You're tired. Going at him with the short sword. 

Jimmy

Okay. Roll the hit. 

Jon

13. 

Jimmy

That's going to hit. 

Jon

Excellent. What? Five? 

Jimmy

Um, okay. So, yeah. With that, uh, you're gonna. Get into those broken ribs with your sword and, uh. Bloody bloody dork. He's he's barely, barely holding on to life. At this point. 

Billy

Hand axe. 

Jon

18. 

Jimmy

Another decapitation, sir. 

Jon

Hahahahahahahaha. 

Jimmy

Okay. And did you. You roll the perception, right. 

Jon

Or. Yeah. It was only a nine. Yeah. Okay. 

Jimmy

Um. So. Yes. Now it is your turn. 

Matt

All right. I'm going to use my movement action and I'm going to move towards. I'm heading towards upstairs. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Ben

So you probably could get upstairs. 

Jimmy

It would probably be into B3 sir. Which is the dining room. He's walking. As you walk this. Thanks for the share. Super loud. Threw me off. Uh, this this room contains two wooden trestle tables flanked by benches, cattle skulls on the walls, and, uh, add to the decor. So it's a nice rustic dining room. Taxidermied animals on the wall. Probably reminds you of home. 

Ben

Did you see what ran upstairs? 

Jimmy

Um, yeah, I guess he's going to catch, like. What's your movement, Maddie? 

Matt

Um, walking speed, 25ft. 

Jimmy

Okay. So. Yes. Do you want to. You can see, like, the last walk going upstairs. 

Matt

Attack of opportunity. 

Jimmy

No, sir. Not how it works. 

Matt

He's leaving. Going up the stairs, javelin. I don't have a javelin anymore. However, I drop, I have. 

Jimmy

A javelin anymore. You didn't. 

Ben

Recover them? 

Speaker G

No, I forgot to. 

Billy

Do you have a hand? Ax? Hand? 

Matt

I have two hand axes. So I was going to drop my shield and throw the hand ax. 

Jon

Okay. 

Matt

23. 

Jimmy

Yeah, that's that's definitely hitting. 

Matt

Eight plus the D4 from Bill. 

Jimmy

Three. That's. The d4 is no longer there. 

Speaker G

Oh, so. 

Billy

I held my turn. Does that still technically count? 

Jimmy

Yes. It's in your subclass that it's only, you know, until the beginning of your turn. 

Billy

Yeah. Okay. That's fine. 

Jimmy

So? 

Jon

So just a. 

Jimmy

I don't know why they didn't just say for one round of combat instead of, like, I don't know why they say at the beginning of turns instead of rolling round of. 

Billy

One round of combat. Yeah. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Um, because then people would be like, well, when's the round begin and when's the round end? 

Jon

Yeah, I mean, yeah. Uh. Sparks. My turn. 

Jimmy

Um, no. So, Maddie, as you hit that mark, he's actually going to tumble down the stairs to the landing, uh, and be be knocked prone. 

Matt

Attack of opportunity. No kidding. 

Jon

I look over at the stairs. Ooh. 

Jimmy

You know, you're you're that guy at any rock concert that just yells Freebird. Yep. 

Matt

But I am. 

Ben

Not murder hobo. 

Matt

I am still frenzying in my rage. So I am going to take a follow up action and swing at him with my hammer. 

Jimmy

I'll allow that. Stretching your movement a little far. But you are frenzied and stuff. 

Matt

So I got another hand axe. I can throw another one. 

Jon

She's going psycho. 

Billy

I'm just outside in the cart, reading my spell book here. 

Jon

And all the calamity inside. Yep. 

Billy

Still calls me. 

Matt

Tend to hit. But can I do it at advantage because he's prone? 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah, actually, you do get advantage because he is prone, correct, sir. 

Jon

Nice. 

Matt

So the next one is an 18. 

Jimmy

So yeah I'm just going to go ahead and call it a, uh, you know, you know, when Gallagher smashes a watermelon. Yeah. 

Ben

Old enough to say. 

Jimmy

Except for he's, like, crammed in in the corner. So like it just splashes against the wall and just. Yeah, brain mess everywhere. 

Speaker M

Splattered his ass everywhere. 

Matt

Yeah. I'm reading frenzy and it. What I did is. In the description because we we're not over the. 

Jimmy

Sparks. 

Matt

2010 rounds. 

Speaker G

Yet. 

Jimmy

Not over the ten rounds yet. Yes, correct. It's only been like two rounds, actually. Maybe three might be like the third one. Currently. 

Jon

It's currently on the third. 

Jimmy

Uh. 

Jon

And we've already killed three orcs. Yep. 

Jimmy

Don't worry. There's plenty more where those came from. 

Jon

Too. Good. 

Jimmy

Um. That was Bjorn's turn. 

Ben

So my turn. So I'm going to shoot me over to b7. Where I heard the rustling. Okay, okay. Um. I suppose I'm going to look in the window before I go in. So. Perception. Uh. 

Jimmy

Stealth first. 

Ben

Uh, okay. Turn on stealth. 

Jimmy

Yeah. He didn't hear you at all. 

Ben

Awesome. Uh. See? What? Didn't hear me. We have 13. 

Jimmy

Uh, it is totally an orc. 

Ben

Totally awesome. We're gonna cast prestidigitation. 

Jon

Okay. 

Ben

Let's just make sure it's not. Actually, if it's an actual, I might not. It is an actual. Um. Can I distinguish if there's anything different about this dog, if he's a leader? 

Jimmy

No, I mean. 

Ben

No, that's okay. I'm going to cast this digitization on the door and lock it. Lock him in the room. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Ben

And I guess, uh. 

Jimmy

Happens right with prestidigitation, right, bill? Just happens. 

Jon

Yes. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um. Oh, by the way, but as you're actually looking into that room, you can tell, uh, it's just a bedroom. It's got bunks, you know? Looks like it's, you know, got. Some ranch hands. Bedroom. 

Ben

All right. Uh, yeah. So that door's locked. He's trapped in there, and I'm still going to stay outside. 

Jimmy

Okay. Are you above or below the window? Um, how long does your spider climb last? 

Ben

Oh, God. That lasts a while. Spire climb lasts up to an hour. Okay. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Ben

I'll be climbing trees long after we take care of these boys. Um, I'm going to crawl under the roof and peer over the gutters. 

Jimmy

Okay. And it is the orcs turn. Um. So the one that was in the room is going to look out the window. Um, he's not going to see you still. What has just happened. 

Jon

Waterfall, right? 

Jimmy

How what? 

Jon

What did just happened? 

Jimmy

Can't hear you, Bill. 

Jon

Yeah. 

Jimmy

There you go. Wait. 

Billy

Okay. You can hear me. 

Jimmy

Yep. Got you now. 

Ben

There I am. 

Jon

Everyone here? Yeah. 

Jimmy

Check. 

Ben

Check. 

Jon

Five, two. 

Billy

Although everything just reset, so. Oh, no. Um, yeah. Let me just jump over to the page real quick and check. 

Jon

Yeah, yeah. 

Jimmy

Yeah, yeah. Let's quick enough. Quick enough glitch to where you know Facebook lagged you know lags behind a little bit. So it was like yeah whatever. We'll let it go okay. 

Billy

We'll take it. Hi everybody. We're back. We're here. We never left. 

Speaker G

Technical foul. 

Billy

Okay. Continue on. Sorry guys. 

Jimmy

Okay. So the one was looking out the window. Didn't see Ben, but you Ben see him. Look out the window and look to the right where you know the loud clap of thunder came from. 

Ben

Okay. 

Billy

What are you doing? The same thing again. 

Ben

I didn't say that. 

Jon

Oh, no. 

Jimmy

Um. And then he's going to go into the room without closing the window, and you can hear him struggling with the door. Um, the two that were going up the stairs turn around and advance on Bjorn, obviously, one at a time, because. There on that thin ass staircase. Um, so the the front one is going to actually swing at you, and he is, um, even though he's got the high ground, he is no Obi wan. So he misses. 

Jon

With. 

Jimmy

Um, let me see. Ever. Can I get a round of perception from everybody? 

Billy

Me as well. 

Jimmy

No, I guess not. Because you're on the cart. Ten. 

Speaker G

Okay. 

Jon

2111. 

Jimmy

Bjorn, from where you're located, you can hear more footsteps on more stairs to your back left if you're facing the stairs and B3. Okay, um, nobody else here. Uh, and. It is bloodthirster. 

Billy

Uh, can I store up another turn? 

Jimmy

Uh, what do you want to do with your said turn or turns? 

Jon

I want to store. 

Jimmy

Are you just waiting for anything to leave the house? 

Billy

Like I might decide to rush in there and fucking throw off, like, in four fireballs, I don't know. Depends on if you like. 

Jimmy

That's. That's what I. 

Billy

Told my rounds. Yeah, okay. That's what I was asking. Uh, so, uh, there's not much I can actually do from here. Oh, hold on, Johnny boy. Where'd you go? There he is. I don't know, John. Don't look at me. Okay. Uh, so can I tell what's going on inside of the house? Not really. I just know. 

Jimmy

They're fighting with your hockey. Might be able to roll me some perception with your hawk. I'll. I'll give you some information. I'll give you how much information? You know, based on that. 

Jon

I'll take it. 

Billy

Uh, it's going to be plus four. So, uh, 23. 

Jimmy

So, yeah, your hawk totally saw that one. Or get blasted out the window the other orc opened the window and look out. Um. And he's probably, let's say, going to tell you that there is. Another orc. In b5 heading to B7. Help unlock that door. 

Billy

Okay, so I am going to. I'm going to cast Minor Illusion. And in doing so. You said b5 to b7. 

Jon

Yes. 

Billy

B5. So he's running down that hallway. 

Jimmy

Basically, that's the last. Okay. You're. Hawk saw him? 

Jon

Yes, perfect I am. 

Billy

I'm going to cause him to hear sounds of what? Sounds like a lion coming up the stairs, uh, in a full roar and paw prints and all. Uh, so it might deter him to run the other way, I'm hoping. 

Jimmy

Which stairs? So there's two sets there, sir. 

Billy

B5 to b7. Where is he currently? I mean, I would say the ones that are like B9. So he's running, you know what I mean? 

Jimmy

Towards the ones he's running towards that. The other. Yeah. 

Jon

So, so hopefully. 

Billy

He's running the other way like back towards B5. 

Jimmy

Um. 

Billy

That was my goal. 

Jimmy

Don't think your heart could see there, though, for you to be able to cast the illusion. 

Jon

I don't think I can go right at. 

Ben

The end of the fucking hallway. 

Billy

I don't think I have to see it, though. 

Matt

Sorry about that. 

Billy

It actually doesn't say anything about placement. It says area of range is 30ft. Five foot square. 

Jimmy

Okay. And I mean, did you guys pull the cart right to the door or what though, like, is the thing, I don't. 

Billy

Know, I was in the driveway. If you don't want to let me do it, that's fine. That's. That was what I was going to try to do. 

Jon

Yeah. 

Jimmy

I mean, if you said the stairs and B5 to get them to turn around and investigate something, I would say yes, because your hawk flew by those windows and, you know, now know where that location is and it's closer to the cart then. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

Then you know what I am going to do. Uh, if you're going to let me go to B5, is I am going to use the same spell, I am going to cast it, and, uh, I am going to, uh. In an orcish voice say, I need help. Okay. See if he'll turn to investigate that. 

Jimmy

Um, yeah, he totally does. Okay. He goes. He he turns around immediately and goes running to it. 

Billy

Sorry, guys. That was longer than I meant it to be. Uh, and because that's a cantrip that doesn't take up the spell slot. 

Jon

Correct, correct. Okay. 

Jimmy

Um. Amnon. I imagine at this point, you see, like both the orcs on the stairs and Bjorn at the base of the stairs fighting them. 

Billy

And I'm sorry, I actually, I'm going to use my movement and I'm going to start walking into the house. Okay. 

Jimmy

Um, 30ft, I will say. We'll say you get to be one, like in the doorway. 

Jon

Yeah. 

Billy

That's fine. 

Jimmy

Area. 

Jon

I go to assist Bjorn with the additional orcs. Attacking one. 14. 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah. That's going to be a hit. 

Jon

Six. Uh. 

Jimmy

So yes, that's. You didn't you didn't damage the ones on the stairs? No. They just turned around and came to attack. You last heard that's what happened. Okay. So. Yeah, um, you're gonna you're gonna get him in the leg, and he's gonna kind of like, you know, wobble a little bit. 

Billy

Oh, I'll be right back, guys. 

Jon

I'm gonna make him wobble some more with the hand axe. 

Jimmy

17 yeah, that's going to be ahead as well. 

Jon

Seven. 

Jimmy

Yeah, that's gonna that's gonna, uh, finish taking the leg, sir. And he's going to fall over, uh, prone and bleeding profusely. Still breathing, but not doing much. 

Jon

Um, I can't do much after that. 

Jimmy

Yeah, it would be, uh. Bjornstjerne. 

Matt

All right, well, upon seeing that, I am going to take a swing at him with my warhammer. And who the the org. 

Jimmy

Okay, I was about to say I'm not because he took your kill. Okay. Um, this just got spicy. 

Jon

Um, I didn't. 

Speaker H

See what I rolled. 

Matt

That's a 15. 

Jimmy

Looks like 15. Yep. That's going to hit. 

Matt

That's going to be a ten. 

Jimmy

Uh, yeah, that's that's gonna definitely break some ribs as it just impacts dead into his chest. 

Matt

He's not dead. 

Jimmy

No. He's undamaged still. So, like, he's not feeling good, but he's not dead. 

Matt

How is he undamaged if he just lost a leg? 

Jimmy

No, no, no, the other guy is. Oh, you mean the guy that's already. Oh. That guy. Oh, okay. I, I just assumed you went for the fresher kill, that's all. Um, no. Yeah. You totally, like, cave his chest and, like he's done. 

Matt

I am, um, upon doing upon doing that, I'm going to let out a very, very loud roar in a, um, attempt to intimidate. 

Jimmy

Okay, give me an intimidation with advantage because you're raging. 

Matt

Uh, the first one is a 17. You want me to roll again? 

Jimmy

Yeah, because it could always be a 20. 

Matt

It's an 18. 

Billy

The drama. 

Jimmy

Um. So, yeah, the orc is just gonna, um, go to try to turn around and and start running as he's afraid. 

Matt

I'm going to take an attack of opportunity, and I'm going to throw my warhammer at the back of his head because he's now trying to leave. 

Jimmy

Okay, um. Give me a dexterity check. Oh, sparks! 

Matt

13. 

Billy

Another one. Let's go. 

Jimmy

Um. Sparks. Thanks for the 50 stars, Lindsay. 

Speaker G

Fuck, yeah! 

Jimmy

Double sparks. 

Jon

Uh. 

Matt

If you expected me to hear what you said, I did not. Sorry. 

Jimmy

Roll me damage. 

Billy

Jimmy, we need to get you to, uh, download a green screen background for D&D nights six. 

Jimmy

Oh, I am playing. I am on Chrome. I actually could do it. Probably really quick, right? I don't know. I'll figure it out in a second. 

Jon

Yeah, we'll do it later. 

Jimmy

How much damage? Six. Six. Yeah. So, uh, your hammer hits him solidly in the back, causing him to stumble up the stairs, and, um, he doesn't go prone, but he has to catch himself with a hand at at, like, the top landing. 

Matt

Since I'm frenzying, can I also follow that up with a with my bonus attack? 

Jimmy

No, no. 

Matt

It's worth a shot. 

Jon

And I take an attack of opportunity. 

Jimmy

Uh, yes, actually you may. 

Jon

Yes. I throw my axe at. 

Speaker M

Him as well. 

Matt

It's just guys just can start getting pelted with shit. 005. 

Jimmy

Um, yeah. You go to throw your hand axe and you, like, just kind of drop it at your toes. 

Billy

You know, when you like, and it falls behind you. 

Jimmy

You know, you got the angle wrong, and you just kind of caught the stairs in front of you. Just. Oh, I forgot to release it. Well. 

Jon

At least I can retrieve it. 

Jimmy

Um. Gobble, gobble. 

Ben

My turn. 

Jimmy

Yes. 

Ben

Awesome. So. Leaning over the railing I am going to. Use. Oh, no. How much is it? I just gotta I just gotta check something real quick. So I'm going to use one sorcery point to carefully. Cast. Uh. Thunder wave. So I'm gonna jump off of the roof. 

Speaker G

Yeah. Surprise, motherfucker. 

Ben

And as I passed the window, I'm going to carefully cast Thunderwave a level two to blast him, and I get a successful saving throw from my spell getting blasted towards the ground. 

Speaker H

But do you. 

Jon

Because he's trying to do some sort of superhero move. Shit, bro. 

Matt

You're like this tall jumping off like a 20 foot roof. 

Ben

I according to according to my meta magic, I successfully have a saving throw because the spell is blasting. Because I'm not secured from anything. 

Jimmy

It so. So what you would want to do technically. In my opinion. 

Matt

Use that motherfucker to break your fall slightly under yourself. 

Ben

Huh? 

Jimmy

I said, what you would want to do is cast it slightly under yourself. 

Ben

Well, but then he won't get hit. Through the window. 

Jimmy

You're jumping from roof like cast it at, you know, under, under yourself at the window. To pop yourself up to the roof would be the best case scenario. 

Ben

I want to go back on the roof, but I'm down to like, cast it that way to save myself even though it's carefully casted. 

Jon

Wait. 

Jimmy

You're still taking 20 foot of all damage is my thing. 

Ben

I figured that the winds would save me free fall. 

Jimmy

And no, it's going to launch you in a solid, straight direction. 

Ben

I got the wind in my sails. 

Jon

Like. Yeah, you do. About 20ft out. And then you fall to the ground like a rock. All right. 

Ben

So let's cast it like that. And a hat. What do you need me to roll? 

Matt

Navigable just went splat. 

Ben

Jimmy. 

Jimmy

I feel like. I feel I feel like you should. No, wait wait wait wait. Okay, I see what you're trying to say. I see. I'm seeing what you're imagining now. 

Ben

You see what I'm doing? 

Jimmy

I think because it originates from you, right? Yes. You're trying to use it as, like. 

Ben

A suicide vest. Well, also. 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Ben

Yeah. 

Jimmy

Um. So yeah, I'm still going to say you're still going to take like ten foot of fall damage. 

Ben

Okay. What is that? Well, so roll damage on him first. Yes. 

Jimmy

Um, wait. It's a it's a Dex save, right? Con con. Yeah. He failed it anyways. Doesn't matter. Oh. 

Ben

Well, that guy's taking 14 damage and getting blasted into the door. 

Jimmy

Yeah. Um. We call that new decor or chic as you splatter him against the door. 

Jon

Is he done? 

Matt

Bro, he was pretty much done already. 

Ben

No, this is a new guy. 

Jimmy

Ben, roll me. Roll me a Dex real quick. 

Ben

Just straight up Dex or Dex saving throw. 

Jimmy

Just a Dex. 

Matt

Wait, what orc did you attack? 

Ben

The name the seven. And that one look really close. 

Jimmy

Okay, so roll me a d6 for your full damage. When someone. 

Ben

For. 

Jimmy

Okay. You take four for fall damage as you land. Being a. Three foot nothing. 

Jon

Pat. 

Ben

Dunn. 

Speaker L

It's fucking hat. 

Jimmy

It's an umbrella. I might might have let you Mary Poppins. It. 

Jon

Okay. 

Ben

One down. 

Billy

We gotta. We gotta get been fucking magical umbrella now. 

Ben

Let's flip the head upside down. 

Matt

Thunderwave makes the orc go splat. 

Jimmy

Yep. 

Ben

And that ends my turn. 

Jimmy

Okay. I mean, you probably still have a little bit of movement if you wanted to. 

Ben

Uh, I guess I'll go back into the front door where the guys are going. It went through. 

Jimmy

You know? Actually, Ben. 

Ben

What? 

Jimmy

You don't take that four points of damage. You take that back. 

Ben

Okay. 

Jimmy

I didn't realize that that was the window with the porch roof. 

Jon

All right. 

Jimmy

So there's there's got to be a porch roof there, you know what I'm saying? 

Ben

Sweet. 

Jimmy

Unless it's just a deck. But even then, it would still lessen your your damage. 

Ben

You want to do two? 

Jimmy

Yeah. Do two. 

Ben

Okay with that, in. 

Jimmy

Case it's a deck and not a covered porch. We'll go. 

Ben

With that. 

Jimmy

Okay. 

Ben

Um, and then. Yeah, I guess I'll just run inside to be one. 

Jimmy

It's the orcs turn. 

Ben

Up as a bonus action. I'm going to use the bathroom. 

Jimmy

Uh, so you guys at the base of the stairs hear the door open up behind you, and two orcs come in. Um. 

Billy

Come in. Where? Where? Whoa! 

Jon

The door in B2. 

Jimmy

Yeah. 

Jon

Okay. 

Jimmy

Yeah. B2. There it is. Yeah. That door. 

Billy

That's fine. I'm cool with it. Go for it. Okay. 

Jimmy

Um. Or is that seller supposed to be outside? 

Jon

Sellers outside? 

Jimmy

Oh my bad guys. 

Jon

So walk down. I thought you were. I thought you were talking about coming in through the porch door. 

Jimmy

Well, the one right there by the staircase. I thought that staircase was coming because look at how they lined up the map. It looks like that staircase leads down to the basement. 

Billy

Yeah. No, that's that's outdoors. 

Jon

Okay. That's what leads up to the to the second floor. Either way. 

Jimmy

They've had enough rounds of combat to get either from the porch to the, uh, you know. 

Billy

Yeah, they're they're same spot. Yeah. 

Jimmy

They they're not in range to attack you guys yet, though, so, um. And then it would be back to blotter. 

Billy

Uh, I'm just going to use my movement to head towards the stairs at like B4 area. 

Jimmy

Okay. Um, you enter the room, you see two orcs to your left that had just come into that that door. Um, and you see those two guys? 

Billy

Whoa! I thought they were in b two. Huh? I thought they were in B two. 

Jimmy

They came in to B three from B two. That's the door they used. 

Billy

Where are these guys? 

Jimmy

And b3 b4 there at the base as well. 

Billy

Perfect. What up homies? 

Jimmy

So like I was saying, you see the orcs to your left and you see your party members at the base of the stairs to your right. 

Jon

Gotcha. 

Jimmy

Chasing down an orc that is fleeing in terror. 

Billy

Got it. All right, so the the orcs that I see to my left, I am going to cast, uh, scorching Ray. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

Um. And that is going to. It's three rays of fire. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

It's going to be 11 to hit. Uh, net one and a 20 to hit. 

Jimmy

Okay, so the 20 hits. 

Billy

Six points. 

Jimmy

You don't get any bonuses to it. That seems weird. It's just two d6 plus nothing. But, um. 

Billy

Well. Yeah. 

Jimmy

Okay. So, yeah. Uh, you're going to hit the the closest one to you with the scorching ray. Your other one is going to kind of Peter out at before it even hits them. And the other one's going to stray off. Uh, the one that you hit, though, has hide armor is actually gonna catch fire. 

Jon

Cool. 

Jimmy

Um. Okay. And it is Amnon Stern. 

Billy

I'm sorry. And I am going to. Sorry. Yeah, I'm going to use a bonus action. 

Jimmy

You got. You got mad shit. 

Jon

Yeah, right. 

Billy

Um, so I have, uh, as bonus action. I have two weapon fighting. Now, I would consider that, like, spellcasting and stuff. I don't know if you do. 

Jimmy

I'm sorry. What? 

Billy

So I have two weapon fighting as a wizard. I would consider that like a staff in one hand and a spell in the other. 

Ben

It's sort of like Jimi. How, I ask, can I use my dagger as a throwing knife on a bonus. 

Jon

Action to. 

Jimmy

Decide what you want your offhand weapon to be? That is what you can use for two weapon fighting. 

Billy

Right, right. My offhand weapon would always, you know, for the most part, be my staff. My primary hand would be my spellcasting. No. 

Jimmy

Yes, but can't you use your staff to cast your spells? That's what I'm saying. Like, because. Don't you have a sword as well? 

Billy

I do, but I it my I figured. 

Jimmy

I figured you were staffing sorting and I didn't just didn't know which your main hand was. 

Billy

Oh. I mean, if you want to work it that way, like, but I just I don't have a magical staff. It's just a regular staff. It doesn't have any special powers or anything. Just a quarter staff. 

Jimmy

I mean, I, I'm pretty sure wizards can have spell casting focuses or your spell book is, you know what I'm saying? Which. 

Billy

Uh, arcane focus and Arcane focus is a special item designed to channel power. A source or a warlock or wizard can use item for spell casting as described in spell casting. Technically it is. Right. So I can like. Yeah. Okay. So sword and. That's dual wielding. I'm doing that now. 

Jon

Yes. Okay, cool. You on, Gandalf? 

Speaker L

Well, no. 

Jimmy

What's your offhand? Just let me know what your offhand is. 

Billy

My. Well, I mean, technically my left hand, but I'm. I can channel magic through it just the same, you know what I mean? 

Jimmy

So your staff is in your left hand. That's what I'm saying, though. If you're smacking. 

Billy

Magically I can point at it works fine. 

Jimmy

For two weapon fighting. It specifies your offhand weapon is why? That's what I'm saying. So you might want to start like aesthetically or realistically if it was you. I know in real life you would have your sword in your main hand and your staff in your off hand, right? For the sake of being de. 

Billy

Primarily, I'm going to be using because. 

Jimmy

You want you want to follow up. Do you want to follow up, strike with your staff, or do you want to follow up strike with your sword? This is what I'm saying. Follow. 

Billy

Follow up strikes would always be with my sword. 

Jimmy

So your sword is your off hand? Yes. Cool. Yes. 

Jon

Okay. 

Billy

Sorry. Thank you. Just learning. 

Jimmy

Well, no. Because it's weird when you actually use weapons in real life and, like, trying to equate it to the video game. Knowledge is weird sometimes. Or in this case, tabletop RPG, right? 

Jon

Um. 

Billy

Okay. What I am going to do though is I am going to cast Misty step. And I'm going to cast that to the point of the top most point of the stairs that I can see. I don't know if that lets me puts me in front of the other orc or behind him. 

Jimmy

It would put you behind him because he was running for. Am I close. 

Billy

Enough to make an attack with my sword? 

Matt

He'd have to step around my character to do that, wouldn't he? Because he said it was a narrow staircase and I am on. 

Billy

I it's misty step. I just disappear and appear. 

Jimmy

I was about to say, I know that, but doesn't Misty step to take an action or your bonus action? 

Ben

Bonus action? 

Billy

It's my bonus action. So which would then cancel two weapon fighting. Cool. Got it. Thanks. 

Speaker N

No. 

Billy

Yeah. Get it. Thanks. 

Jimmy

So yes. You can teleport behind the orc. 

Jon

Okay. Done. 

Jimmy

Man shows up in a cloud of smoke. 

Jon

I'm here. That's kind of a trick. 

Billy

And it just smells really skunky all of a sudden. 

Speaker N

Oh. 

Jimmy

If Snoop Dogg was a stage magician. 

Matt

Bill just shows up. Hey, guys. 

Billy

What's up dude? 

Jimmy

Um, so I'm not. I'm not. Yep. 

Jon

Well, I guess I run to catch up to the wizard who can just poof, poof, here I am. What do you want? 

Speaker O

Hello? 

Jimmy

Uh, okay. 

Billy

Next week should be here. 

Jon

Can I run to am I? I'm close enough to catch up. Right? 

Jimmy

Yeah, um, I will, I will count. I will say the one square where you guys have now a stack of bodies is difficult to rein. But, um, other than that, yes, you can still make it up to. Yeah. Two blasts are very, very easily like with, you know, because difficult terrain just takes double movement to get through. So it's like one five foot square, so you just gotta stay attack. Okay, I was going to say roll the hit with disadvantage. 

Jon

With this advantage. 

Jimmy

You're trying. 

Jon

To. 

Jimmy

Attack around him on a staircase from below him. And your enemy. You have the super low ground, my friend. 

Jon

Well, the lowest. So what? I give lowest, then. 

Jimmy

Still hits, sir. Roll damage. 

Jon

610. Yeah. 

Jimmy

He's, uh. Yeah. You're gonna. You're gonna. Yeah, you're just gonna. Right? Yeah. Somehow. Whip around, stab around, go for that good old hook shot and, uh, get him. Get him right in the heart. He just keels over dead. 

Billy

I'm just gonna, like, look down at you. Your little head, like, poking through my side and be like, good job, dude. 

Jon

And I'm gonna look up at you and I'll be like. 

Speaker M

Another one. 

Jimmy

Um. Bjorn. Unless you want to run back down the stairs down to like that's you still got movement. I would, I would say. 

Jon

Okay, okay, do it. Can I do a perception check to see where I can if I can hear anything else? 

Jimmy

Uh, sure. 

Billy

Mid battle. 

Jon

Why not? It's only an eight. Let me see. 

Billy

What I can. 

Jon

Perceive. 

Jimmy

Mid-battle, you are unawares. 

Jon

Ting ting ting. 

Jimmy

You might hear a little. Little, uh, like jiggling of something. Possibly just ever so slightly. You can't tell exactly where it's coming from. 

Billy

You caught a really strong whiff off of my pipe, and all of a sudden, your senses were fucked. 

Jon

Sparks got it. 

Billy

I don't know if I can do another one tonight. Guys, you guys are killing me. 

Jon

Gobble! 

Jimmy

Two high. 

Jon

Two high. 

Ben

It's his turn. 

Speaker G

All right, since my. 

Matt

If it's my turn, I'm going to. Since my warhammer is at the top of the stairs, I'm going to retrieve my shield and my handaxe. 

Jon

Okay. 

Matt

Were there any remaining orcs on the ground floor? 

Jimmy

Yes. The two that just came in from V2. 

Matt

All right, I'm going to. How close are they to me? 

Jimmy

I mean, you could get you could get within striking distance. 

Matt

Okay, I'm going to charge at the orc closest to me and try to like haymaker and with my shield. 

Jimmy

Uh, okay. 

Speaker N

Strength. Check. 

Speaker K

Yeah. 

Billy

All right, Krazy Kat.